Sometimes You Can Hardly See
by fmanda
Summary: Complete! :D Roxas is a normal teen until a redhead makes a appearance in his life, changing forever for the worst. RoxasAxel, SoraRiku. Death! D:
1. Heartbreak

A/N Hey guys/Gals :DD This is my first fanfiction. I'm so nervous! D: Hopefully you will like! Without further ado...

Sorry the first chapter is short, need to set el moodo:D

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**Sometimes You Can Hardly See.**

Chapter 1

Roxas ran a hand through his abnormally spiky blond hair. He buried his head in his hands and felt the day rushing back to him. His eyes filled with tears as he realized that no matter how hard he tried, he was still in love with his ex-boyfriend. To make the days harder he had to deal with 3 periods with him and they had all the same friends.

_Why can't he see that I love him? _

_Why isn't he running back to me? _

_Why isn't he spending all day pining over how much he wishes he could still be with me? _Roxas wondered.

The sobs took over Roxas, he couldn't handle it. His shoulders were shaking and the tears fell, Roxas tried not to make any sound to alert his parents of his broken heart. Roxas crawled into the fetal position. His sadness came in waves, over and over. His face slowly turning to rubber and his eyes a deep red.

Roxas shut his eyes and his exhausted body fell into a restless nightmare.


	2. Long Ago

A/N Hey welcome back to another chapter :) I hope you enjoy it. I really want some reviews, If no one likes it than I won't continue it.

**13loves8loves9loves6: **Thank you so much for reviewing :) oh and the mood is officially SET!

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Let's a 3 month break from Emo Roxas:

Friends. That's where a lot of people start. It's a easy way for you to get over a crush or develop one. Sometimes friends leads to rash decisions that should never have been made.

Roxas had never had a taste of the crazy life until Axel came along. Roxas was a bookworm who loved to achieve. In fifth grade Roxas had told his mother that he was going to go to Stanford and become a doctor. Roxas was praised by his teaches for his intelligence and his quick response to the harder questions. Unfortunately the kids didn't care so much for him, all he had was Namine. Roxas tended to be a quiet kid that wouldn't say anything when the kids beat him up. As Roxas began middle school his life took a drastic change he meet new people and began to squeeze out of his perfect boy role. He soon became like everyone else, a normal teenager.

Axel, on the other hand, was everything Roxas was not. Axel had discovered at a young age that his fire red hair and his ability to make actual fire wasn't all that big with the other kids on the playground. Axel became the kid that got bad grades, beat up little kids and was constantly being yelled at. Much like Roxas, Axel had one friend ,Demyx, that stuck by his side no matter what. As Axel began middle school he got pushed into a crowd of people that were known for their wicked deeds. He became one of the "Heartless" as they called themselves. Axel stopped wearing his gloves for awhile in middle school but, after the science buildings got burned down he quickly began to wear them again.

Roxas and Axel knew each other by name but never close until the summer between sophomore and junior year. They began to talk on the Internet and they quickly became friends. Roxas making every attempt to cheer up the moody red-head, and the red-hair would complain to Roxas about his girlfriend ,Larxene. Roxas always hated when the conversation would go to Axel and his girlfriend, Roxas had a bit of a crush on Axel. Axel had no problem with Roxas being gay and that made their friendship better.

As school began to start again Roxas and Axel became close friends, they did everything together. Larxenne said nothing about their very close relationship but behind their backs she would call Axel a faggot. Roxas thought nothing of his friendship with Axel, he was happy to just be near him. The world was at peace as the group of thirteen welcomed Roxas as a new member.

* * *

The happy moments quickly came to an end though. After spending a evening with the "gang" getting drunk behind the football stadium Roxas went on the Internet to find a note from Axel on his profile saying :

ACK! Roxas I really want to tell you something but I don't think I can.

Roxas sent a reply back, Please tell me he wrote.

Axel quickly wrote back ummm...I think I kind of maybe sorta have feelings for someone.

Someone other than Larxenne? Roxas typed. Roxas's heart soared was is possible that Axel could like him?

Axel typed, Yes! I just don't think that person could ever like me back, I think I'll just give up.

Roxas's heart soar died quickly, No you should go for it! Roxas typed.

Axel just typed back a smiley face and wrote see ya tomorrow.

Roxas didn't know what to do. He loved Axel so much, but what would people say? Would they call him fag behind his back? Roxas lay back on his bed and went to sleep to have anything dream of Axel's taunting eyes.

* * *

The next day at school Axel and Larxenne had a screaming battle. No one dared to stop them, Larxenne scared boys and girls alike. Axel was known for his fire ability and everyone knew that Axel was no afraid to use it on enemy, friend or acquaintance. The battle was heated and each were at each other throats ready to kill.

"What the fuck is wrong with you lately Axel? You keep running off with stupid Roxas!" Larxenne said

"It's none of your fucking business, what Larxenne I'm not allowed to have friends?" Axel said his voice picking up volume.

"I never said that!" Larxenne huffed "Don't you dare deny it! I know that you like him!"

Axel looked stunned but only for a second "What the FUCK is your problem" Axel yelled, as the fingertips of his gloves caught on fire.

"Your SUPPOSE to love me!" Larxenne screamed

"Well I don't!" Axel bellowed.

Larxenne looked up at Axel in shock and Axel looked down at her in shock. Axel face changed to a sly grin.

"I'm sorry" Axel whispered. He turned around and quickly walking away leaving Larxenne to her thoughts.

Over the next week news spread like wild fire, the "emoest" couple had broke up, who were all the jocks going to pick on now? Roxas didn't dare to talk to Axel for a day, hoping he would calm down. When the next day rolled around Axel walked up to Roxas

"Hey." Axel said

Roxas smiled back and said "How are you?"

Axel face flashed anger but quickly calmed "I'm fine, I'm not going to let that bitch ruin my day."

Roxas smiled weakly "Oh hey you never told that secret that you couldn't't tell me?"

Axel burst out laughing and said "Oh it'll come to you."

Roxas went to first period Spanish a confused look taped to his face.

_Could Axel really have feelings for me? Will I be okay with being gay? OMG AXEL LIKES ME!_

Could Axel could really like scrawny, nerdy Roxas. Beautiful, rebellious Axel could like Roxas. Roxas quickly shook his head

_There's not a snowball's chance in hell that he could like me._

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A/N No Roxas your hot :) Review please?


	3. Falling

A/N Hey! I read though my last chapter sorry for all the spelling mistakes :(. Anyways, I just wanted to give everyone a heads up, this is going to be more about Roxas and not Axel because this story is based on a friends of mine relationship and I have NO idea what the guy was feeling also this fanfic will not have lemon or yaoi or whatever you want to call it. SORRY! But I'm trying to make this realistic and not everyone jumps into bed with each other.

**13loves8loves9loves6:** Oh my gosh! I know! She gets worse don't worry :DD Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Sorry It took me so long to write this!

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Sometimes You Can Hardly See

Chapter three

So that's how Roxas thought for a week. He ignored Axel's long glances and his phone calls to wish him a good morning and sweet dreams. He put them aside and told him it was what friends did. He thought nothing of Axel's hand stroking his hair. Roxas conscious couldn't stand it.

_Roxas your a bigger idiot than I thought if you think Axel doesn't love you. I mean come on! He always grabs at your hands and his hugs are longer than man hugs should be. Plus who gives man hugs anymore?_Roxas's conscious exploded one day.Roxas was running down the basketball court in P.E. at that moment and he tripped. Axel was at his side in seconds. Roxas's eyes widen, he had been at the opposite end of the court from the Axel. His train of thought was interrupter by the spiky red head's voice

"Yo, Roxas can you feel your knee?" Roxas peeked down at his knee and saw blood was coming out. Roxas winced, he wasn't a big fan of blood.

"I'm fine!" Roxas reassured with a smile. It quickly vanished as he stood up.

"Ouch!" He yelped. Axel let out a small chuckle as the look of pain on Roxas's face intensified

"Silly Roxy." He said. Axel turned around and Called out to the P.E. coach "Roxas is bleeding and I'm going to take him to nurse." Coach Strife nodded

"Oh Axel!" He said

"Yes?" Axel answered sweetly

"Go directly to the Nurse, no where else and bring Roxas back in one piece." The Coach said with a smile.

"Oh no! I was planning on taking him to my secret lair where I was going to let him get fat so I could eat him!" Axel said disappointed but finished with a smile.

Axel walked away smirking and pulled one of Roxas's arms over his neck. Since Roxas is much shorter than Axel it didn't work very well but it got them moving. About half-way there Axel stopped,Roxas looked up at him. He was surprised by the look of sincerity in Axel's eyes.

"Your knee still hurt?" Axel asked

"No...um wait! Yes, yeah!" Roxas stammered as he felt a blush creep up his neck. A small smile crept up Axel's face.

"Let me take a quick look." Roxas nodded his approval quickly. Axel bent down and pretended to be very interested in Roxas's knee Axel pulled Roxas closer and he leaned in placing a delicate kiss on Roxas's knee,Roxas blushed a crimson color.

"It's the other one stupid." Roxas managed.

Axel smiled "I know. I didn't want Roxas germs." Roxas punched him and began laughing as Axel pretended it be hurt. Roxas a little too loud hoping that his heart would stop beating so dang loud.

Roxas lay in bed thinking about the last week. He was used to being the last to know stuff but this was so big he was surprised he didn't collided with it.

"Axel loves me" Roxas whispered to no in particular.

He smiled to himself, maybe life wasn't that bad after all. Axel would make a excellent boyfriend and everyday was brighter when Axel was there. His phone began to ring playing "Barbie Girl" by Aqua. It was a joke birthday present from Namine and Roxas couldn't help but crack up.

"Hello" Roxas answered

"Hey Roxy, It's Axel."

"Hey, How are ya doing?" the blond replied

"eh...just wanted to wish you sweet dreams." The red head said. Roxas couldn't help but blush deeply at this.

"Thanks" Roxas said " and same to you." You can hear Axel smiling over the phone

"You know Roxas you don't have to anise now but you have to soon okay? I want to know if you would be my boyfriend. I just want the pros and cons." Axel said confidently

_How does he do that? _Roxas thought _He just (kind of) asked me out and it was like no deal to him. I would be sweating up a storm.WAIT oh my gosh he just asked me out! _Roxas was stunned but caught himself quickly

"Yeah I'll have to ummm think about it." Roxas said trying to cover up the shaking in his voice.

"Like anyone could say no to me" Axel replied. "Sweet dreams love."

Axel hung up before Roxas could say another word.

Roxas sat thinking for hours that night, sleep wouldn't come over. All he could think of was pro and con's of his relationship with Axel. Would Axel hurt him? Will he regret it when it is over? How much of a heart break will Roxas have? Roxas knew he could never answer these questions. Roxas wanted to go out with Axel so bad, but he knew the relationship would hurt. Would Axel give him his first kiss? Roxas sighed, He got up and walked out of his room. He walked to his brother's room, he hardly ever talked to Sora but they had always been close.

"Sora?" Roxas whispered as he opened the door. Sora looked up from his book and smiled.

"Roxas! How was your day?" Sora asked patting the section of bed next to him. Roxas took the seat and he buried is head in his hands.

"I hate boys." Roxas grumbled

Sora chuckled "You don't, you can't be gay without loving guys." Roxas looked up giving him a mad look. Sora began to laugh "It's the truth"

"I think...I like this guy" Roxas said "But he's a lot different than me, I'm afraid that like, it'll hurt a lot when we break up."

Sora nodded "Yeah I know how you feel, but you can't always think of relationships endings you need to think of the bigger picture. Who knows how long your going to get to be together? What if your only together for a week? Not a lot of heartbreak there. But what if your together for years, sure the heartbreak will hurt, but you'll always have the memories, the happiness doesn't fade."

Roxas smiled up at him "Thanks, you were always better at love than me."

"No problem" The chocolate haired brother answered. Roxas got up to leave but stopped half way through the room.

"Sora? Are you still dating Riku?" He asked

"Yeah, one year can you believe that?"

"Your so lucky!" Roxas said

Sora laughed, "Yeah, but it's hard, he makes me horny." Roxas's face twisted into disgust and Sora began laughing so hard that he was crying. "I was just kidding!"

Roxas recovered "oh good."

"You need to go to bed" Sora said " But remember one things if you do decide to do go out with him, kissing is not how you think it is."

Roxas shoot him a puzzled look as he walked out the room.

_The happiness doesn't fade. _Sora's words ran through Roxas's head as he fell asleep. He made a quick chart in him mind.

**PRO\ CON**

Axel is hot.\ Heartbreak

First kiss\ Heart break

Be in Love?\ Heart break

Memories \Heartbreak

Happiness \Sadness

Roxas was even more confused now, What was he going to do?

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A/N HUG! Thanks for reading! Review now! or else Roxas gets no Man sex:3 That pro and con's list was hard D:


	4. Trapped

A/N: Hey! Welcome to another chapter :D Can't wait for this one to get rolling. When your finished go take a look at my poem from Sora to Riku please :D. Also I was watching Saturday morning cartoons while I was writing this so expect references. :D

**13loves8loves9loves6: **Thanks for being such a avid reader/reviewer :) and the Roxas thing sounds like a good idea it might just happen :D You're the best:D

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Roxas was acting really pissy the next morning, he couldn't decide if it was the lack of sleep or that he had come up with nothing to tell Axel. Fortunately for Roxas, there was no school today. Unfortunately for Roxas he didn't know that it was Saturday. Roxas looked at his alarm clock that read 7:45. 

"SHIT!" He exclaimed

Roxas leaped out of bed and went running for his dresser pulling out his black skinny jeans, a white shirt and plaid boxers. He ran into the shower and took a record time 4 minute shower. He was pulling his clothes on when he saw the shirt he was wearing. It was his old Pokemon t-shirt that he has had a kid, he was amazed that it still fit him. Roxas dashed out to his dresser again and got his socks but quickly remembering that he had to put some gel in his hair so it wouldn't friz (a/n no idea how to spell that D: ) Roxas put on his white Vans that were drawn on. He grabbed his backpack and ran downstairs.

_Why isn't everyone else up?_

Roxas looked up at the clock 7:59 it read. Roxas began to panic and he ran up stairs to his brothers room.

"Sora?" He called out "You up?" A grunt came from the other side of the door. Roxas pushed open the door to find his brother fast asleep.

"Sora! You have to get up it's eight!" Roxas said. Sora stirred at this point and shot Roxas a look of venom

"You didn't just wake me up ,did you?" He said . Roxas took a step back, Sora was never this mean. "It's Saturday you dummy!"

Roxas looked shocked. "Fuck." he whispered. Sora's look of venom changed to a smile.

"It's not that funny!" Roxas said as the blush was creeping up his neck. Sora patted the bed space next to him and Roxas came over and sat next to him.

"So why were you so mean to me?" Roxas asked. Sora let out a long sigh and buried his head in his hands.

"There's some things going on in my life right now, that I can't deal with and I'm taking it out on other people." Sora explained.

"I'm not a child Sora." Roxas said defiantly

Sora sighed "I-I-I" he sputtered "I saw him..." Sora couldn't finish his sentence as a his eyes filled with tears.

"Who? Hey! Hey! Don't cry" Roxas said pulling Sora into a one armed hug.

"I saw him-him Riku, with another boy." Sora managed to say before he buried his head in his arms and let out a sob.

"What? Riku cheated on you? After a year together." Roxas said Sora only nodded, as a new wave of tears began. Sora shoulders were shaking and Sora's body was trembling. Roxas pulled him onto the bed so he was laying down.

"Shh... Just go back to sleep." Roxas whispered stroking Sora's hair. Sora cried for 20 minutes straight only stopping to breathe, each wave of tears being worse than the one before. First it was shoulder shaking than his whole body shaking and so on. Sora fell into a restless sleep his face was tear stained and his eyes a puffy red. Roxas gently slipped out of his death grip and anger hit him.

_I'm going to kill that Son of a bitch. _Roxas thought.

He ran out the door he's feet carrying him, his mind filled with flashes of anger

_How dare he? Sora is the best guy! I'm going to tear him a fuckin new one. _Roxas head was spinning with anger as he knocked on Riku's front door. Riku answered after 30 seconds, he was wearing only gray boxers and a white thin t-shirt.

"Roxas! Long time no see" Riku said flashing him a full look of his teeth.

"Oh Riku! I know, but we have matters to discuss." Roxas said through clenched teeth

Riku face fell. "Yeah come on in." he said

After settling in the living room of Riku spacious apartment (yes he has his own), Riku went and got Cokes for both of the boys. He sat down on the chair as Roxas sat down on the couch. Both stared at each for a minute wondering what was going through the other's brain. Roxas hot flashes were returning and he was readying to pounce on the silver haired beauty.

"How dare you." Roxas managed in a whisper. Riku's face fell into confusion, he hadn't heard Roxas's whisper. Roxas raised his voice making sure it stayed at an even tone.

"How DARE you. Cheating on my brother? YOU PIECE OF SHIT." Roxas said. Riku was taken back by this accusation.

"What...How...Who?" Riku sputtered

"DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT?" Roxas bellowed.

"yes." Riku squeaked. Roxas couldn't handle it his white flashes of anger were too much, he was going to kill the son of a bitch. Roxas jumped out of his seat on the couch and ran to Riku where his fist collided with Riku's cheek.

"WHY? Do you even know how much he loved you? He practically WORSHIPED you. You fucking..." Roxas yelled. He had pushed Riku to the floor and was kicking him now. Riku grabbed Roxas's foot as it came near him and he twisted making Roxas fall on the ground, scraping his face on the coffee table.

"Yeah, I cheated on him. You want to know why? Because Sora...because Sora." Riku stopped mid sentence which gave Roxas his chance. He jumped up and kicked Riku in the face.

"It wasn't my brother, it was you." Roxas said.

Riku smiled "Exactly." Riku was bleeding out of his nose, his lip was cut and his right eye looked a little purple. Roxas wasn't much better he had a huge cut running from his cheek bone to his mouth from the coffee table and his nose was rushing blood. Roxas stepped towards Riku and hit him in the nose again. A sickening crack filled the air, Riku and Roxas froze. Riku began to scream, and blood was streaming down his nose.Roxas froze up. Riku took his chance and hit Roxas in the stomach twice and then the face. Roxas fell to the floor. Riku let out another grunt and went to the bathroom to stop the blooding flowing out. Roxas woke up 5 minutes later and sprinted out of the apartment.

_What the hell was I thinking?_ Roxas wondered. He hurt all over and the cut on his face stung in the fall air. Roxas walked two blocks before collapsing again. He layed against the building step trying to get his head to stopping ringing and he begged the ground to stop moving. Roxas's eyes slowly began to shut as Roxas's world became black. Roxas's last thoughts were _Oh god. Axel please save me._

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**Axel View** (a/n I know i said i wouldn't but why not:D) 

It was just another Saturday morning for Axel. He would wake up, make himself breakfast, ask Demyx to come over and they would get drunk. He pulled himself out of bed and grabbed new clothes for today pulling them on he looked in the mirror. A lanky teenage with shocking red hair in even more shocking spikes looked back at him. Axel's Grey skinny jeans hugged his hips and showed of his girly legs. His white t-shirt that had two pistols on it. He reached for his black high top converse that he rainbow laces. He was gay and proud not much else to say.

Axel decide against making himself breakfast and that he was going to get breakfast instead. Axel threw on his motorcycle jacket that he had bought in hopes that one day he could own a motorcycle. He walked out his door and locked the front door, his neighborhood wasn't the best one ever. He descended the short flight of stairs and walked out in the fall air. he began to walk towards Aerith's Cafe, it had the best pancakes. As we walked he whistled to himself and smiled happily. He rounded the corner and saw the cafe at the end of the block. He passed the apartment buildings. He saw in front on one was a person that was passed out on the front steps.

_Fuckin drunk_ Axel thought.

As he got closer he couldn't help but see that the drunken pile was bloody and it had striking blond hair that was in abnormal spikes. Axel gasped as reality hit him.

"Roxas?" Axel asked. No reply came from the blond mess. Axel walked up to Roxas and poked him. He knew it was Roxas now from the boy's childish face. Axel picked up Roxas and sighed.

_It's going to be a long way home. _

**Roxas View. **

My eyes opened, and I found myself in a small apartment laying on the couch. A wet cloth was on my forehead and my cut was bandaged up. I tried to get up but it made my hair whirl. I let out a little yelp from the pain.

"Hello?" I called out

I froze when I saw Axel come out of the kitchen in an apron and him sending me a flashing smile.

"Oh good, your finally awake. " Axel said.

"What happened?" Roxas asked.

"I found you on the steps of another apartment and brought you here." Axel replied

"Oh, thanks." Roxas mumbled.

"No problem!" Axel smiled, his face quickly clouding "But you need to tell me who did this to you."

Roxas gulped _Oh shit _

"It was...I mean I fell." Roxas said cringing not even he believed his own lie.

"Yeah and I'm the freakin queen on England." Axel said sarcasm and anger dripping from his voice "Tell me the truth please?"

Roxas sighed and told Axel the story but left out the part about him wishing Axel could save him. Axel's face expressed all the emotions that Roxas felt.

"That little bitch." Axel said.

"I know." Roxas whispered.

Axel let out a laugh. "I want to kill someone's boyfriend that I don't even know."

Roxas and Axel sat on the couch and talked about Sora, Riku, there life's and everything in between for the next two hours. Roxas cried a little when Axel told the story about his parents car crash and Axel laughed when Roxas told Axel that his biggest fear was clowns. Axel was the one to break this magically bond between them by saying,

"Let me hear your pro and con list for our relationship."

Roxas gulped "um... it went something like this, pro's were all like love, yadda ya, happiness and con was heartbreak."

Axel smiled. "Nah Roxas I can promise you that I will never ever hurt you. Your way to cute to hurt."

Roxas smiled "Good."

"I'm going to stick next to you for the good and bad no matter what." Axel said

"Yeah, same with me." Roxas said

"So? Will you be my boyfriend?" Axel asked

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A/N MUHUHAHAHA:D Sorry about lying about the no Axel view. I just wanted to try it :)) Anyways next chapter will be a jump to the future (remember this is the past?) But anyways be ready 

:D

**Review pretty please :D**


	5. Anger

A/N Welcome back to another chapter :D

**13loves8loves9loves6: **Dude, I love you. I mean it. Your reviews totally make my day. :) HUG:D. More about Sora/Riku and it's surprising :D

**iheartroxas:**Thank you so much for reviewing:) Yeah, Axel is a bit of a liar.

**BACK TO THE FUTURE.**

Just in case no one noticed. :DD Enjoy Emo Roxas :)

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Roxas grumbled as he woke up on the bright Saturday morning. It was nearing Christmas and Roxas's Family always went to get a big tree together. They always were suppose to bring one friend with them and a few short days ago Roxas was planning on bringing Axel. To bad he had killed it. Roxas felt a surge of anger and sadness at the mention of Axel. Sora of course was bringing Riku. It's a long story, you'll catch up soon. 

"Roxas, We're leaving!" A female voice called. Roxas knew the voice as his mother's and grabbed his jacket as he began to walk out the door.

"Coming. " Roxas called glumly. He took the stairs two at a time and showed his mom his best fake smile. She didn't catch on and smiled at him.

"Well, this will be fun." She exclaimed.

"Totally!" Roxas agreed out loud. _Not. _he answered in his head.

As the family piled in the car as a silver Volvo came around the corner, parking in front of their house. The car stopped and Riku jumped out of his car. He smirked at the anger that filled Roxas's face. Roxas still hadn't forgiven him for the brawl and hoodwinking Sora. Roxas practically snarled as Riku settled next to Sora in the car placing a kiss of Sora's lips.

"Hello!" Riku called to Sora's Parents "Nice to see you again." Both of Sora and Roxas's parents smiled and nodded. They didn't know the wicked deeds that Riku had done to their son. Riku turned to face Roxas and gave him a smile as he slide his arms around Sora's waist. Riku made sure that Roxas was watching as he reached his hand under Sora's jeans waist and settled his hand there.

_What the fuck is he doing? _Roxas wondered _How can Sora find that attractive? Oh look guys! I'm reaching my hair slightly under my boyfriend jeans, I'm SUCH a sex machine. _Roxas scoffed out loud and stuck his tongue out at Riku. He knew it was childish but it was the only thing he could do to express his anger without ripping out the dumb bastards heart out. The time in the car passed slowly as everyone in the , except Roxas of course, was singing loudly and off-key to Christmas songs. Every time Roxas tried to put his headphones on Riku would hit him under his chin. Roxas's anger grew as the trip continued.

Roxas couldn't help but think,_ What would this of been like if Axel had come with us_? He tried to get the thought out of his head but it was to hard. He saw Axel jumping in the car and wrapping his arm around Roxas whispering in his ear a hello. They would take the backseat and if Riku even touched Sora, Axel would flick the back of his head. When Riku would turn around to accuse him Axel would always say "Who me? NO WAY!" Roxas laughed out loud at his daydream. If only it could have come true. Roxas felt grief rip at his insides, He didn't want to cry in front of them so he sucked it up waiting for the chance to be alone.

When they arrived Riku was in high spirits, he was chattering with the parents about something stupid. Roxas walked up to Sora and shot him a death glare.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" Roxas hissed

Sora blushed a deep red."Well you know, He's my boyfriend."

Roxas's felt something rip inside at the word boyfriend. _How am I going to get through this if i'm so damn weak?_

"He used you and he going to do it over again! AND you know it." Roxas said anger filling his tone.

"Your-Your-Your're just jealous." Sora sputtered out.

Roxas froze_, How could his own brother say that? _

"Did he tell you that?" Roxas whispered.

"No! I did it myself." Sora lied

Roxas knew Sora was lying, Sora always snapped his fingers and right now he snapping like crazy.

Roxas turned, He was going to kill that son of a bitch. NOTHING was going to stop Roxas from giving him what he deserved. Rage clouded Roxas's vision

_HOW DARE HE? He cheats on my brother? He fools my brother? He videotaped them? My brother is not Paris Hilton. NO. I'M GOING TO KILL HIM_

Roxas stopped suddenly on his death walk, his breath was caught in his throat. He saw red hair over by one of the trees. Was it him? Could it be? Will he wrap his protective arms around Roxas? Roxas turned his direction and ran towars the familiar red hait. That's when it hit Roxas like a train, No Axel broke us up for a reason, He didn't love Roxas anymore. Roxas couldn't keep it in, he fell to his knees as the grief inside ripped him to shreds. Pain filled his head as he slid to the ground. A single tear left his cheek as the world slowly faded away replaced by pitch black.

_Axel? Why aren't you saving me from this madness? Why is this sadness so much? Please someone help me._

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A/N Not really emo Roxas more like Anger Roxas :) Anyways hope you enjoy :) Sorry if you like Riku! He's not all that bad but in this story he is. 

**Review please :)**


	6. Kiss Kiss

A/n Welcome:D I'm really sorry if you were confused by the last chapter. I didn't mean to confuse anyone DD: But this one is in the CORRECT time :D

This is when Axel and Roxas are just getting together SO THE PAST!

SORRY FOR CONFUSING YOU:D

**seven-deadly-sins11: **thanks? I have no idea what you love but I hope it's my fanfic :D

Updates won't be as fast, school started again and i'm in stress overdrive. I will try to update ever Wednesday though?

* * *

Roxas would never forget the first week, it was the best one of his life. No doubt about it. Roxas loved the feeling in the morning of knowing that today was going to be wonderful and that tomorrow would be just as good. He loved the feeling of Axel wrapped around him. Nothing in his mind went off, the hole wasn't growing yet. The fear, the pain wasn't hitting him. Roxas often had dreams about this first week, the innocence that he felt. To bad Axel was going to corrupt it. 

Arriving at school fashionably late, Roxas ran to his first period English which he just happened to have with Axel. A smile played at the edge of Roxas's lips. He slid into his seat as the bell rang, turning around, he flashed a smile at Axel.

"Hey boyfriend." Roxas whispered

A amused look stretched across Axel's face. "Hey right back, love." Axel said, not even trying to contain his voice. Axel wanted Larxenne to see that he was dating Roxas. Axel wanted jealousy.

"I can't believe were going out, it totally shocked me this morning when I woke up." Roxas said.

Axel chuckled "Well now, all your dreams can come true."

Roxas flushed a pleasant pink. How did Axel know that he dreamed about him? What it that obvious? Roxas pushed it all to the back of his mind and let himself enjoy the day at hand.

* * *

Roxas had no desire to go. He wanted to stay with Axel forever, even if there were classes and other friends. Axel could tell by the frown on the Blondie's face that he didn't want to leave. Roxas felt Axel pull him into a tight hug. 

"Hey, I'll see you tomorrow." Axel whispered. Roxas smiled, he loved the way Axel knew him so well.

"Call me tonight?" Roxas asked. Axel replied with a nod. Roxas sighed and began his walk home.

* * *

The next week flew by for Roxas everything was just so perfect. Axel greeted him ever morning with a hug and for the rest of the day he had a iron grip on Roxas's hand. Roxas was on cloud nine. 

Namine quickly broke this happiness and put Roxas's into a state of confusion.

"Hey, Roxy do you ever wonder what you look like when you and Axel are hugging?" Namine asked

"No?" Roxas replied. Why would he?

Namine snorted. " You should see yourself! It's pretty funny."

Hurt coursed through Roxas. "Well... yeah I got nothing. Why does it look so funny?" Roxas asked wearily

"Well, your like all into it, oh yay i have a boyfriend yadda ya. But Axel on the other hand is like yay! Roxas is my boyfriend now will he please tilt his face up so we can make out." Namine finished with a giggle.

Roxas froze. _Make out?_ He had never even thought about that. Roxas flashed back to 6 months ago.

_Sora was sitting on Roxas's bed bouncing up and down in excitement._

_"Oh my gosh! OH MY GOSH. Roxas can you freakin believe it? I MADE OUT WITH RIKU." Sora squealed_

_Roxas fought to hide his disgust. He likes his brother but who wants to hear about sexual conquests?_

_"What was it like?" Roxas asked, he had always wondered._

_Sora flushed a crimson red. "Best thing EVER. Riku was touching me and his tongue was in my mouth. IN MY MOUTH!" _

_"Okay, gross." Roxas said._

_"Sorry." Sora said. "But gosh, i'll never forgot that Roxas, it's different than you even imagine."_

Roxas came back from his brief flashback with a sharp poke in the ribs by Namine.

"Hello? Anyone up there?" Namine asked.

Roxas laughed."Sorry flashback."

Namine laughed "Come on we're going to be late for class."

* * *

Even though Namine meant no harm by her words Roxas couldn't help but think about it. Especially when on the phone two nights later Axel brought up kissing. 

"So, Roxy ever wonder about kissing?" Axel asked

Roxas gulped. _Oh god. _Roxas stumbled on his words as he said them "Yeah, all the time... I mean no, I mean yeah."

Axel laughed "It's okay if you do Roxas. I'm not going to judge you, your my boyfriend all I can think about is you."

Roxas's heart was out of control. It must have been going 200 mph. "I think about kissing you too?" Roxas said finishing lamely, was that what he was suppose to say?

Axel laughed again. "Are you a kiss virgin Roxas?"

Roxas gulped _OH GOD. _"Yes, unless my pillow counts."

Roxas could hear the smile in Axel's voice. "Oh so I'm competing with a pillow? This could get messy."

Roxas laughed. "Oh yes! Let the games began."

Axel voice turned serious. "Back to the original question, i'll re ask it for you. Do you want to kiss me Roxy?"

"Yeah." The answer just slipped out of his mouth. Roxas wanted to beat himself up. Yeah, he really did want to but what if he sucked at kissing?

"Good. Then expect things to change about that kissing virginity." Axel said "Sweet dreams love. " With that Axel left Roxas to his thoughts.

Would Axel try to kiss him?

Would Roxas be good at it?

Roxas fell into dreams of Axel mocking him for his uncanny ability to miss while kissing.

* * *

Then it happened. 

"So, I was thinking that maybe we should give kissing a try."

That was all Axel said (or had to say) and I was sold. Ready to kiss, it wouldn't be that big would it? Kissing COME ON! Kids my age are having sex and doing drugs.

"Yeah, I was thinking so too." Roxas answered

_Now what? _My brain panicked _Do we set a date and time? That would be awkward. Is it spontaneous? OMG._

"Good." Axel said as the bell rang, he quickly got up and walked out of the class leaving me in a stunned silence.

_Now what the fuck am I going to do?_

The Friday afternoon fever was spreading through Roxas's math class. The sixth period class was restless as the clocks hands moved as slow as a snail. Mr. Ansem fought for the kids attention but he wasn't getting much. Roxas sat in his seat, foot tapping nervously. He could care less about school almost being over. Axel had kissed him on the cheek yesterday and he knew he was moving along pretty dang fast but he wanted Axel to kiss him.

_I am making a huge deal out of this. A kiss is nothing, Jesus Roxas. _

The bell rang scaring Roxas as the class fought to take the first breaths of the weekend air. Roxas was at the back of the crowd taking his time to walk all the way to Axel. Debating in his mind about leaving now or going to Axel. He caught up with Axel before he could make his decision.

"Hey Roxy." Axel smiled.

"Oh! Yeah! um... Hey how's it going?" Roxas replied nervously.

"Come here." Axel murmured as he pulled Roxas away from the crowd. They walked close to the Gym, a area not a lot of people passed. Roxas's thoughts were fast in his head, to fast to read.

"Would it be okay if I kissed you?" Roxas asked. _Oh my god Roxas you did HIGH FIVE! _

"Of course."

Roxas leaned in, he had no idea how this affair went. He cocked his head to one side as Axel did the same. Their lips meet and Roxas felt Axel on his mouth.

Or did he?

Roxas pulled away faster. "I just missed didn't I?"

"Yeah you pretty much did." Axel said with a laugh.

* * *

A/N Review! I'll give you a cookie :D Hope you like. Can't wait to see you soon! (: 


	7. Words

A/n Welcome back to yet another chapter :D. Hope you enjoyed the last one. 

13loves8loves9loves6: Thanks for two reviews:D They break up because OH WAIT that's a secret ;D

and here's the next one :D

oh p.s. the part directly below is being said by Roxas okay? GOOOOD!(:

* * *

Cause and effect, it makes our lives. Every little decision we make changes our life path. It's scary how my decisions right this moment might effect me in 20,30 years. Life scares me. It's so unfriendly and big. So many components in this problem of life. So many notes in this song. So many motions in this complicated dance. One wrong number, sound,or step can change the entire thing. If you lose your path, then what? Will the song pick up suddenly where you left it? Will the dance continue at the next step and will the math problem still be solvable? No, you need to start all over again. It's a new dance, a new story. 

A new path.

* * *

Roxas pulled his hand to his mouth. He could feel the tears coming. "Oh my god, oh my god. I'm so sorry." 

Axel was laughing, harder than he should be. "It's---It's okay." he managed to spit out.

Roxas could feel the iron hot blush spreading across his cheek. "Did I miss really bad?"

"Oh yeah. Horribly."

"Then I'm going to have to try again."

Axel didn't even get time to respond to this, Roxas had covered the space between them in record time. Roxas pressed his lips up against Axel's. Axel couldn't help but smile, Roxas had hit him straight on the lips. Roxas still had no idea how to kiss someone, so he did what they do in the movies. He pushed himself against Axel, he was so close to Axel that he could feel his chest rise and fall. Axel pulled away and he was panting a little bit.

"And that's what it feels like to be kissed correctly." Axel said smiling.

Roxas hit him "Shut up." They both cracked up and Axel grabbed Roxas's hand and pressed a kiss to it. Roxas felt the blush creeping up his cheek. He looked at Axel and felt his heart beating faster. Axel let go of Roxas's hand and pulled Roxas into him. Roxas tilted his head up and Axel placed a kiss on Roxas's mouth.

_Of course, he doesn't miss._ Roxas thought.

Axel chuckled "See ya later, boyfriend."

Roxas watched Axel walk away and he collapsed down on the steps to the Gym. The thoughts in his head were racing faster than he thought was possible.

_Omg I kissed someone, someone my boyfriend. I want to do it again and again.what will Sora say?When will we use tongue?Omg will we?What will be like?I get to kiss him tomorrow and the day after.I get to kiss him if I fucking feel like it.YAY!_

"Ugh." Roxas said as he made himself stop thinking it was all too much. He made himself get up to find Sora and go home.

Finding Sora took 15 minutes, Roxas looked every where he could think that Sora would be but instead he stumbled upon him in the science building. Talking to Riku. Roxas felt anger flare up.

"Sora!" Roxas called out making both boys turn their heads. Sora blushed a deep red and Riku smirked. "We need to go!"

"Yeah, um... one minute." Sora called back. Sora turned back to Riku and they mumbled words back and forth for a minute. Sora said his good-byes and started to walk to wards Roxas when Riku grabbed his hand.

"That's no way to say good-bye to your boyfriend." Riku said loudly. Anger and hurt filled Roxas's head, Riku used Sora yet he went back. Riku grabbed Sora and pressed him into a pornographic kiss. Roxas could practically see their tongues moving. Roxas let out a loud sound of disgust

"Hurry the fuck up." Roxas said, the anger creeping into his voice. Sora pulled apart and began to walk back, Riku reached out and slapped Sora's ass.

"See ya later bf." Riku taunted. He looked directly at Roxas, for a moment Roxas swore that he saw a nervous look but it faded. Sora reached him and smiled half-heartedly, Roxas didn't even bother to return it. He quickened his pace as they left the room. When they were outside Roxas couldn't contain himself anymore.

"What the fuck was that?" Roxas asked.

Sora's eyes filled with hurt. "Riku and me got back together."

"Why would you do that?" Roxas hissed.

"Cuz' he said he made a mistake and that the other person meant nothing to him and that he will never ever hurt me again." Sora recited.

"Words are just words." Roxas said. "How do you know that tomorrow he's not going to find someone that's "better" than you? Sora what if he goes back on his word? His words are just words and nothing more."

"I don't know Roxas, but that's life. I'm just giving him a second chance." Sora said trying to keep his voice calm.

"Can't you see it Sora? He's USING you." Roxas spitted out. "And your just letting it happen! Fight back Sora, this is a battle you can win. Kill whatever you two have going on, NOW."

"No, I'm sorry." Sora said "Riku was and is the best thing that has ever happened to me, I know there's going to be heartbreak Roxas, I have come to terms with that. If he cheats on me again than there is o forgiving but I'm just giving him a second chance and that's all. End of conversation."

"Fine, but if he does anything to you again, I'm going to kill him." Roxas said. Sora let out an impatient sigh.

"He won't, I can feel that his words are the truth." Sora said.

Roxas sighed. "Conversation change?" He asked.

"Please." Sora said.

"Me and Axel...we kissed." Roxas said blushing.

Sora stopped in his tracks " For real?"

Roxas punched him lightly. "Shut up!" Roxas said. Sora clutched his side as he laughed. "Except the first time, I kind of sorta missed?"

Sora was laughing so hard he couldn't breath, he tried to breath slowly but the anger that Roxas's face showed was too much. After much hard effort he was able to speak.

"Missed? Like how?"

"Like I was aiming for his lips and got the his top lip and whatever is on the top of your lip in between the nose and lips." Roxas answered

"That's pretty bad." Sora said.

" Yeah! I noticed!" Roxas said.

"Hey, It's going to be okay, they'll be more kisses for you to have with him. One's that'll be way better. Okay?" Sora said. Roxas couldn't help but smile, kissing was starting to sound like fun.

* * *

**A Week Later.**

Roxas walked out into the afternoon air, he had asked his math teacher if he could use the bathroom. Roxas walked as slow as he could down the hallway, thoughts of the last week filled his mind. Sora had been right and there next kisses had been way better. He reminded the last time they had Axel had put both hands on Roxas's face and kissed him deeply and Roxas had counted the seconds

_1...2...3...4...5...6..._

Axel had broke and stared down at him with his piercing emerald eyes. Roxas melted into his arms and breathed in the sweet scent of the redhead.

Roxas sighed at the flashback and turned the corner quickening his pace to the bathroom. He opened the door and went to the first stall, just as he was zipping down the fly of his pants he heard the door crash open and closed. Two pairs of sneakers screeched across the floor. He heard one of them getting pushed up against the wall and then a moan.

_Someone is making out in this bathroom. EW._

"Unzip your fly" A voice said. Roxas went pink with embarrassment, he was going to be in the room when they were going to have sex.

"You don't wait,do you?" Another voice said. Roxas's felt his throat close, that voice was one he knew very well. Riku was out there with someone, about to have sex.

"I want you to much" The other voice growled. Roxas faked vomited and laughed quietly at his own joke.

"This isn't going to work,take off your pants and your boxers." The voice said. After a minute of unzipping and removing of clothes, the "fun" began for the bathroom couple. Roxas put his fingers in his ears and tried not to hear them. The couple was panting now and one voice was moan loudly.

"Just suck already, stop playing games."

"Your wish is my command." The other voice said.

Roxas saw the two boys shift, one was leaning against the wall clutching on a stall door to balance himself the other was kiss the leaning boy's stomach slowly making his way down. He kissed his way down the shaft of the boy's cock. The boy brought up and hand, taking a hold of the erection and slid his hand up and down pausing at each time to kiss the tip. The boy hanging on to the stall gasped and the other boy began kissing up slowly making it up to his mouth.

"Watch out." Stall boy gasped.

"Huh?"The other boy said. The words were barely out of his mouth when stall boy came.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" The kissing boy said

" Hey I tried to warn you!" The stall boy said

"Now what? I'm suppose to walk around all day with cum on my shirt?"

"No! Just go to the P.E. room and get a t-shirt." Stall boy answered

"Fine. Put your clothes on and HURRY, and give me your jacket." The kissing boy walk out in huff.

"I love you." The stall boy whispered as the bathroom door slammed shut.

Roxas peeked out to look out at the sad boy and found himself staring into the baby blue of his own brother.

* * *

A/N YAY! I'm back! Computer broke, but I'm back now :) 

Review please:D


	8. Honeymoon

A/N Welcome back to another chapter :), I'm sorry for the slow updates but I'm currently running out of ideas. This chapter is kind of a overview of the first month and a half of Axel and Roxas relationship. Don't worry much, your not missing anything. The first part is in Roxas words, he's thinking about it later in the future. 

And here we go:D

* * *

Someone once told me that the first month of a relationship is the best. It's the honeymoon phase, the beginning, the hiatus from the real world. I don't remember who told me, I don't remember if they were wise but that's what it's like. Nothing bugged me, not the looks from kids at school, my parents or Namine. I was so wrapped into Axel. His smell was like a drug to me and his kisses were sweet candy. I smiled more than I had in years, happiness burst out of me like a fountain. Someone else once told me that good things don't last. They told me that good things get ripped and taken from your helpless hands. I didn't want that to happen with Axel, I wanted him to stay forever and ever. I felt it before it happened, the ripping of us apart. I knew. My mind shut down and let me sleep walk through life in the last few days, I knew the pain would be unbearable. That's when I yearned for the first month, the kisses and sheepish smiles but I couldn't have it, my good thing was getting ripped away. 

forever.

My internal clock is ticking, my heart just can take it, I don't want this anymore. Any of it.

* * *

"Cheers." Axel murmured into my ear. I blushed a delicate color of pink and pulled away. 

"Axel!" My face reddened knowing how stupid I sounded.

"Yeah, but your irresistible." Axel smiled coyly. A smile escaped my stony face, Axel leaned down and pressed a kiss on me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled closer to the redhead. Axel pressed his body against mine and wrapped his arm around my hips. His mouth parted slightly and his tongue traced the top of my lip. My head jerked backward.

"I told you I wasn't ready." Roxas murmured, embarrassed by his reaction.

"Come on, live a little!" Axel said.

"Sorry." I mummer.

Axel scoffed "Come on Roxas! We've been over this. You said you were ready."

"Well I lie." I whispered.

"What did you say?" Axel demanded.

"Nothing, nothing at all." A cold hand clutched my heart at this moment, I shook it away. I looked away from the red heads face and turned to look at the kids milling by. Some were locked in conversation and some were staring at me and Axel. I wonder how they were feeling at this moment, was it a good day or a bad day?

"Hey Axel, do you ever want to just sit and watch the world?"

"Not really." Axel says. His arms in circle my stomach and he pulls me towards him. I look back at the young students and a small voice in the back of my head pleads to be one of them.

* * *

Roxas stepped out into the autumn cool air wishing he had brought a heavier jacket. He smiled knowing that in a few seconds he would be sharing warmth with someone else. He quicken his pace and waved to some people as he made his way to the steps of the gymnasium, a usually hangout for his friends. His arrival was greeted with warm hellos and a quick hug from Sora. Axel came down the steps and placed a little kiss on his lips. A coy smile placed on his lips. 

"Have fun?"

"No way." The Blondie said.

They climbed the steps together hand in hand. Axel sat down bringing Roxas crashing into his lap. The coy smile seemed to be stuck on his lips. The redhead bent down and placed another kiss on the Blondie. He wrapped his arms around Roxas waist and pulled him closer. Roxas pulled apart quickly.

"Axel, no one wants to see us make-out!"

"Making out is with tongue." Axel snorted "and besides that, I could care less."

Roxas stuck his tongue out." Come on, do you want to see Sora and Riku kiss?"

"You know what? You come on! It's always what other people say, you know what I if you hate it so much then break up with me."

Roxas felt his stomach drop to the floor_. CAN'T YOU SEE THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I DON'T WANT_? "No! No, it's okay."

Axel smiled " Yeah, that's what I thought." The redhead turned and walked away. Roxas eyes narrowed and he clenched his fists.

_Why can't I just stand up to him_?

Axel walked up to Zexion and they began a long drawn out conversation that had something to do with a lot of pelvic thrusts.

Sora walked up to Roxas and put a arm around him."How you doing little brother?" Riku was quick to follow Sora and winked at Roxas as he took Sora's hand.

"Fine, How are you?"

"Excellent!" Sora said. Riku took this moment to began a make-out session with the chocolate haired boy. Roxas turned away disgusted, and got up to go talk to Namine.

"Namine!"

"Roxas! Long time, no talk."

"Yeah that's for sure." Roxas smiled.

"How are you and Axel going?" Namine asked.

"Great." Roxas lied.

Namine laughed " Roxas, you look like your in grave danger for saying that!"

Roxas only nodded.

The bell rang signaling the end of the long over due lunch.

* * *

"Come to the park." Axel said to Roxas. 

Roxas shifted the phone from his right ear to his left one. "I have homework."

"Me and you need to talk, get over here in 5 minutes."

Roxas cursed loudly and pulled on a sweatshirt, he opened the door and announced loudly that he was leaving and not to wait up. He slipped on his shoes and walked into the brisk air. The leaves swirled in front of him and he watch the cars hurry back and forth next to him. He walked to the corner and crossed the street entering the park. He walked quickly to the children's playground and saw the redhead's spiky hair. He ran the last 100 yards and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"Hey you wanted to talk?"

"Mhhmmm, Follow me." Axel said while taking Roxas hand. They walked briefly for 3 minutes and came to the soccer Fields, Axel pulled Roxas into a area hidden by bushes. 

"How are you?" Axel whispered.

"Great. Why are we whispering?" Roxas asked.

Axel swooped down and placed a kiss on Roxas unexpected lips. He pulled Roxas close to him and buried a hand in the blond spikes. Roxas stood up on his tippy toes granting more access. Axel's mouth opened and his tongue traced the top of Roxas mouth. Roxas felt all the fears come tumbling back and he opened his mouth. He felt Axel's warm tongue sliding in his mouth, he felt his own tongue slithering in and out. He wrapped his arms around Axel's neck. Roxas couldn't contain his smile, he pulled apart and smiled up at Axel.

For the first time in almost two weeks Roxas was happy with this life, happy with what Axel could give him. Axel couldn't tell him to stop being a wimp or tell him to break up with him. Roxas wanted these moments all the time, every second. Roxas knew somewhere deep inside of him that this was the beginning of the end. He pushed these thoughts aside and told himself to live in the moment. But what did that really mean?

* * *

Roxas returned home many hours later, his mouth felt tired but his mind was turning. 

He had used tongue! Little baby Roxas was not so much of a baby anymore. Roxas returned to his room and stripped to his boxers. After he had climbed into bed he sighed. He felt the tears before he realized what was happening.

_This was a new phase,_

_A unknown territory, _

_and Roxas was so scared._

_If he gave Axel everything would Axel give anything in return?_

Roxas let himself cry, the fear he had was gone now but it was filled with a feeling of emptiness.

_So what? I used tongue with a boy._

_Am I a slut now?_

_Will Axel expect it every time?_

This was the beginning of the nightly tears he shed and the beginning of the deep hole that was greedily ready to swallow him whole.

* * *

A/N I'M READY? Are you? I'm going to finish this fucking fanfic, if it's the last thing I do. I'm going to try to summit a chapter a night and finish this god darn thing. YES! Probably when I'm done I will edit it all.

REVIEWWWW:)

Hope you enjoyed :D


	9. Hidden Secrets

A/n Welcome back to crazy fanfic finishing:D This probably won't be posted until midnight or so. BUT IT WILL GET DONE! ;D I'm going to start editing the first five tonight also, hope I can finish it. :D. Hope you all enjoy mucho! (:

YEAH TODAY'S A LEAP DAY:DDD

3loves8loves9loves6: Thanks for reviewing AGAIN! You are the bomb :D Hope you tick with me to the end :) 

Seven-deadly-sins11: I'm sorry, I didn't really explain it. I promise to try in this chapter, I'm not a very excellent writer D: I love your name btw. :D Thanks so much for reviewing.

You two made my freakin day :D

Onward and forward. :D

* * *

Olette popped her gum loudly in Roxas face. 

"Okay I know what your saying." She said, bringing up her hand to rub her face. "But, don't you ever think that he's trying hard?"

"Well, yeah but do you think it's weird that I am having second thoughts." Roxas asked.

"Nah, I always have second thoughts when I start to date someone." She answered.

"You've only dated two people."

"Whatever. But just go with the flow and don't constantly worry about what he thinks. Enjoy time together." Olette said bringing out the e in enjoy.

"Thanks for listening." Roxas turned and walked away, saving as he left. Olette sighed as he left and muttered to herself that she needed to stop being Dr. Phil.

Roxas walked across the campus to the Science wing of the school and waiting for the classrooms to empty. Axel came skipping out first and caught sight of Roxas.

"Hey!"

"Hey." Roxas answered. "How was Science?"

"Boring as ever. The ENTIRE time stupid Mr.Leonhart shot me death glares, not my problem that I have a F in his class." Axel said, stopping in place and grabbed Roxas backpack. Pulling him towards him and into a kiss that was quickly turned into a tongue dance. Roxas pulled away, his cheeks flushed a bright red. 

" You want to go to basketball game?" Axel asked. "We can go and have a little fun. Ya know what I'm saying?"

Roxas smiled. "Yeah, let's do it."

The two boys began to walk hand and hand to the gymnasium. Roxas stopped when they reached the bleachers.

"Do you hear that?"

"Yeah, is someone crying?" Axel asked. Axel walked towards the bleachers "Hello? Anyone here?"

"Axel?" A voice called out. "Is that you?"

"Yeah, I'm defiantly Axel."

"Come here."

Roxas leaned up against the wall and waited for Axel.

_I wonder if Axel even thinks twice about us getting together. Why do I feel like I'm constantly embarrassed to be near him? It's probably just nerves. Or like could I be embarrassed of him? Am I falling out of love with him? No way, I mean my heart doesn't beat faster when I see him but it doesn't mean I don't love him right? _Roxas cursed himself for being so stupid. _What will happen when we break up? Will it hurt or will we just become-_

Roxas's thoughts were broken by Axel and Marluxia arriving, Roxas jumped up. 

"Hey you okay?" He asked.

"Fine and dandy." Marluxia shot back. "Come on Axel. Leave your scum boyfriend and let's go get high."

"Roxas go in and watch the basketball game, I'll be there in 10 minutes." Axel said.

"Wait Axel! Are you really going to do drugs?" Roxas asked

"None of your business kid." Marluxia butted in. "Now be a GOOD boyfriend and do what Axel says." Roxas shot Axel a glare and turned his heel to walk to the gym.

"Jesus people these days." He heard Marluxia say as he left.

* * *

The game began. 

Destiny High scored in the first minute. Twilight High counted back and scored two. The first quarter went by.

_Okay, I'm waiting. It's okay. He'll come._

Twilight High was called on a foul and number 3 of Destiny took the shot missing. Destiny pulled ahead by 4. The second quarter flew by.

_Come on It's been 10 minutes._

Half time passed uneventfully.

_Where is he? Is he hurt? What if he did get high?_

Twilight High scored a whopping 0 points. Destiny High did circles around them scoring 10 points. The third quarter ended slowly.

Twilight High made a amazing comeback tying with Destiny in the last two minutes. A Destiny High player got fouled and his shot was the finally mark of who won and lost. He bent his knees and shot the ball, following with a perfect follow through. The crowd waiting scared for seconds and the Destiny High fans screamed loudly when the ball went sailing in. Roxas noticed none of the sounds or the people all he knew was that Axel had never came back for him.

The fans cheered and hugged one another. One dad screamed "That's my boy!" Roxas hoisted himself up and began the to leave. He opened the door to the Gym and felt the chilly air, He saw Zexion and called out to him.

"Zex!"

"Yeah?"

"Where's Axel?" Roxas tried to keep his voice as even as he could.

"He left with Marluxia. I think he's coming back." Zexions said.

"Tell him I left if you see him okay?"

"Yeah sure."

Roxas turned his back and felt the anger inside of him. Axel had just left, he didn't care that Roxas had sat there. He wasn't going to care anytime soon. Roxas felt like punching something.

"WHAT A DICK." Roxas said.

* * *

Roxas had a plan, granteed it was stupid but it would work. Ignore Axel. No matter what, he was not talking to redhead. No one was going to ditch Roxas and get away with it. NO ONE. Okay, that was a little too tough. 

Axel didn't even notice before or during first period that Roxas was ignoring him. When he tried to kiss Roxas in the morning Roxas had just walked away. Roxas was proud of himself for not giving up on the plan. The bell rang to signal the end of first period, Roxas left the classroom. He walked to his locker and opened it. He didn't notice Axel until he shut the door.

"Hey babes." Axel said. Roxas looked at him and walked away. Not saying a single word.

"Roxas? Roxas? ROXAS? Come back! DAMN come back." But he didn't, he walked.

Axel was desperate the next period asking everyone he could if they knew why Roxas could possibly be mad at him. Sora became his finally option.

"Sora do you know why Roxas is mad at me?"

"Mhhhhm."

"Tell me please!" The redhead begged.

"He's mad at you for something yesterday. He wouldn't say the whole thing to me. Man, he was PISSED."

"Yesterday? Yesterday...We went to a basketball game?"

"Your getting there Sherlock." Sora said.

"I went with Marluxia. Why would he be mad?" Axel asked.

"Cuz' you ditched him."

"What?"Axel retorted. "I did nothing of that sort."

"Sounds like it to me." Sora said in a singsong voice.

"Well I did nothing wrong. I think there's something wrong with your brother."

* * *

Roxas decide to find Namine before she went to steps. He sure didn't want to send lunch by himself. He found her as she came out of here math class. 

"Namine!"

"Roxas! Hey, you want me and you to hang out at lunch together."

"Yeah how'd ya know?" Roxas asked.

"Word spreads. Come on let's talk."

The two blondies walked to bleachers together and Namine sat down patting the place next to her.

"Now my pretty spill your guts!" She said

Roxas laughed "He ditched me yesterday and he doesn't even care. It pissed me off, ya know?"

Namine smiled. "Yeah. You want to talk about something completely different?"

"Pretty please?"

The two's conversation spread through lunch and until they both reached their next classes.

"I'm going to solve you're problems, Roxas." Namine said. "I promise."

Roxas only smile only reached his mouth.

* * *

Roxas left his 6th period math class and walked to find Namine. 

"Roxas! Over here." Roxas looked over to the voice and saw Namine. He quickly followed the voice. Stopping dead in his tracks when he saw who she was with. Axel. Roxas spun around to leave.

"Roxas talk to him." Namine pleaded.

"Fine." Roxas growled. "Talk."

"I don't even know what your mad about!" Axel said sounding exasperated.

"You! You ditched me TO GO GET HIGH."

"Well, Marluxia needed me. His girlfriend had just broken up with him." Axel said enraged. "He was really torn up!"

"Yeah sure. You don't see everyone so sad they want to do drugs!"

Axel got really quiet. "I'm sorry."

"Me too." Roxas said. _No no! I'm really not. I want you to get on your knees and beg. Your so rude to me and this was my chance to get you back but I just love you to much._

"Come here and kiss me boyfriend."

Roxas walked to Axel and they kissed.

* * *

_Why am I feeling like this? Why do I all of the sudden hate Axel? He's so annoying, loud and rude. Those aren't the qualities I want in my boyfriend. But I sure don't want to dump him. I like him a lot just not his Axeliness._

_Does this mean that we're going to break up?_

_Will he notice it? Can anyone else tell?_

_I hope not._

* * *

A/n YAY! Another! I'm so proud of myself :D Heads-up THE NEXT CHAPTER IS IN THE FUTURE. 

I'm screwing with your brains again. :D

Hope you enjoyed

Review pretty please. :D


	10. Isolation

A/n Welcome to the madness:D Things are going well, this chapter everyday is going super good :D I want to thank everyone that is reading, reviewing or not. I was rereading my other chapters and I would like to point out that I said that Spanish was Roxas first period and I said that Roxas's first period was English. It's really English. I will correct it. I swear:D

SuperEmily: New reader:D Thanks so much! I hope you enjoy my story. 3!

13loves8loves9loves6: Thanks again for reviewing, Roxas is a marshmallow XD

REMINDER: **This is a chapter IN THE FUTURE.**

**This is one of the chapters NOT on current plot line.**

**ALSO, much of this is in Roxas's head **

Got it memorized :D

* * *

I hate school. 

It was hard so many people wanting to know, wanting to talk, wanting to help. I didn't want any of it. I just want to be alone somewhere warm and cozy. No one will just leave me alone to myself.

PLEASE just leave me alone.

I'm begging you.

* * *

I could feel the January wind icing my throat, my breath coming out in puffs of white. The sun hid in the gray menacing cloud waiting to drop the it's rain. The teenagers at Destiny High weren't excited to be at school, all huddled together in packs. Roxas looked across the courtyard at the funny lumps, Namine sat next to him studying for Math. Somehow she was the only one that understood how much he needed to be alone. He liked her company and her grades in all her subjects had risen. Roxas brought his arm across his chest and held the other side of his stomach covering the hole he constantly felt in his heart. He felt a rush of relief, his arm protected him from the world. 

"Roxas?" Namine asked. "The bell just rang. I'll take you to class."

"Thanks." Roxas whispered. Namine smiled and nodded.

_How does she understand me so well? It's like she knows what I'm going through._

"Have you talked to Sora lately?" Namine asked.

"No, not since the Christmas tree accident." Roxas said. Scenes of that day flashed in his head, Riku's smirk, Sora's attack and the red haired women who had filled him with hope. The cold blackness too. Roxas shivered despite of his warm coat. "All he would talk about was Riku." 

Namine snorted a laugh. "Yep, that's about all he does talk about."

"Namine?"

"Yes Roxas."

"Thank you."

"It's what friends are for Roxas."

Roxas felt the Hole rip bigger.

* * *

Period 1 

One of the three classes I have with him. How do I get through this everyday? Sometimes I don't even know.

"Welcome class!" The always smiling Mrs.Gainsborough said.

"Someone got some last night." A boy in the back whispered loudly.

Aerith chuckled. "Today we're going to go to the library! First you must complete the worksheet on the front table and then go pick a excellent book!" Mrs. Gainsborough annoyed Roxas, her happiness was just to happy.

He walked to pick up the worksheet and sat down at his desk. He stared at the words for a minute trying to sort out the words on the paper from the ones he was thinking.

_Why do we even have to do this? I just want to go home, to my bed and sleep. I've been tired a lot lately. I just don't feel like doing anything besides sleeping.I wonder what it would be like to just sleep for a entire day. How refreshed would you feel when you were done? How long would I not have to sleep for? I would want it to be on a bed of feathers.Roxas come to my desk please._

Roxas snapped out of his daydream and looked around, most of the other kids had left and he saw a large stack of worksheets in the turn in bin. Mrs. Gainsborough smiled and motioned her hand for him to come. Roxas made the short walk to her desk and nodded.

"Roxas, I've noticed that the quality and amount of your work has been dropping. Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing wrong at all. I've just been tired lately. I'm sorry." Roxas replied automatically.

Confusion filled Aerith eyes. "Okay, go finish your worksheet."

_They always fall for it. **I'm tired,** don't worry, it's all okay. I could rephrase it a million ways and no one would catch one. I'm like a bandit running from the truth_

Roxas smiled and began to work on his worksheet.

* * *

Period 2 

Class without him.

I read a survey that said most teenagers despise Social Studies. Those kids obviously did not have Miss (please call me Yuffie) Kisaragi. She was known for her light rules and practically jokes on kids. She insisted on kids calling her Yuffie instead of Miss, she said it made her feel younger. Very short shorts were her everyday attire and no matter how many teachers thought of it disgust she kept doing it. Naturally all the kids loved her, she could put a smile on anyone's face.

Roxas hated her more than he hated school.

"CLASS!" Yuffie screeched, quickly grabbing everyone's attention. "Today, I don't feel much like teaching so how does a movie sound?"

The class cheered loudly and Roxas sighed. _There should be no troubles today._

Mrs. Kisaragi (Roxas mentally hit himself) -Yuffie, popped in the newest, hottest movie and the class watched. Roxas put his head on his desk and closed his eyes, entering the world of his day dreams.

He felt like he was repairing the hole right now. The little workers were patching it up as best as they could. In all of 30 minutes their work would be ruined when he began his next class with Axel.

* * *

Period 3: 

Pro: Namine Con: Axel and Riku

PE was easy, all he had to do was run, jump, kick or hit. There was barely any talking just grunting and cursing. Roxas enjoyed the sunshine and the cheers. He remembered a time when he had been the star of the team he was on, Riku had killed it. The class was now playing football and Roxas's team was depending on him heavily. Mr. Strife had picked them to go against Riku's team, which consisted of Riku big head only. Roxas laughed at the idea of Riku's head growing. His team had the first kick off. 

"Ready!" Riku shouted. Some boy next to Roxas kicked the football. Roxas wondered if today should be the day he helped them or if he should continue to be his cocoon. Roxas snapped out of his mind and saw Riku charging towards him, sweat was on his forehead, he smirked at Roxas. Roxas flicked his hand out and grabbed Riku's flag. 

_And you being the pompous ass you are didn't notice._

"TOUCHDOWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!" Riku yelled.

"No." The quiet voice of Roxas said.

"What did you say?" Riku smirked. Roxas pulled his hand from behind his back and showed the flag.

"No." Roxas repeated Riku's face turned bright red and ripped his flag out of Roxas's hands. 

"Whatever."

Namine walked over to Roxas and leaned in. He smelled her sweet candy perfume.

"Smile, Roxas. You rock." She whispered.

So he let a weak smile escape.

* * *

Period 4: 

Fortunately I'm good at Spanish. Unfortunately Axel has is with me.

Maestra Lockahart walked in the classroom and began to yell in Spanish. Roxas managed to pick up that it had something to do with there last test. He saw the frustration in her face at the other number of clueless kids in her classroom..

"FINE. Just let's take examples from your homework." She said. "Last night was 6 sentences. Umm... Tidus hit me with one."

A look of fear covered Tidus's face. "Um...uh... Yo estoy triste?"

"Good." Tifa said with a smile. Roxas relaxed in his seat waiting for his name to get called.

"Axel" Tife said. Roxas stiffened immediately.

Axel smirked " Okay let's see here, El taco es loco en de cabeza."

"Are you serious?" Tifa asked. "The taco is crazy in it's head? It makes no sense."

"You said sentences not stuff that made sense geez."

"Moving on. Roxas?" Tifa said. Roxas felt Axel's eyes on him, the sudden urge to throw up took over him.

"Nosotros ir al parque manana." Roxas choked out.

"Good job" Tife said. She continued to talk but Roxas paid no attention. He felt the heat of Axel's eyes until the end of the period watching his every move.

_Oh god._

* * *

Lunch. 

The sun had decide to come out from it's hiding place. Roxas had stripped from his heavy coat and sat on the Science benches soaking the only slightly warmer weather. Namine sat next to him, her face was turned up to the sun smiling.

"Roxas?"

"Yeah Namine."

"It gives you hope to right?"

Roxas looked up at the sun, it had manged to withdraw from the grey clouds. Could he?

"Yeah, it does."

"Good."

* * *

Period 5

Science.

My

most

least

favorite

class.

I just sleep through it now.

* * *

Period 6

Math with Mr. Ansem is always stupid. He talks and tries to get our attention. This is when I daydream the most. Dreaming of a better time.

_and then the taco would be happy forever_

My phone vibrated loudly in my pocket. It was a text from Demyx, I hadn't talk to him much lately. It read: Yo Roxas, wats up? btw do u still like Axel?

I press the off button on my phone and stare out the window.

* * *

That's it. it my normal day. Then I come home and curl up in my bed and fall asleep. I leave this world for an hour or two. To a place that is better, a place I wish I could be.

A place I can be.

* * *

A/n Yeah! Rolling on the railroad of chapters :D

Hope you enjoyed lots!

Review.


	11. Wishes

A/n Welcome:D Hope your enjoying all of this! I'm sorry if you were confused by the sentences that Tidua and Roxas said in Spanish! Tidus's is I am sad and Roxas's is We can go to the park tomorrow. Okay dokey! I always hate the first chapter after the future ones, there my favorite D:

Reminder!: BACK TO THE PAST.

CURRENT PLOT LINE.

got it? GOOD:)

* * *

Roxas decided to forgot it. All of it, the stupid feelings that he was having and any doubt he was having about Axel. This was the best way for him to continue his realtionship with him. He hoped it was the anwser to all hs problems. Just pretend like everything super. Good things come to those who wait, and Roxas was waiting. He hoped that Axel would act different since there first fight. He hoped that there realtionship could withstand this and last a long time. 

**_If wishes were fishes than we could feed the poor._**

Too bad Axel never got the memo.

* * *

Roxas entered the school grounds with a chattering Sora next to him. Sora was talking about something to do with Riku, Roxas easily tuned him out. He craned his neck to see if he could find the familiar redhead. 

"Roxas? Are you even listening?"

"Yeah, your talking about Riku and Friday." Roxas lied.

"You were paying attention!" Sora said, Roxas breathed a sigh of relief. His eyes caught on a flash of red and a smiled filled his faces. Who else in this school had spiky red hair? Roxas walked quickly to the red haired boy and he yelled SURPRISE! When the boy turned Roxas saw it wasn't Axel but Reno.

_shit._

"Roxas, right?" Reno said. "You think it's funny to scare people?"

"No, Reno. I don't." Roxas anwsered.

"Good now run along." Reno said with a smirk.

_Why do all people with red-hair smirk? _Roxas smiled and moved on. He went over to Namine and gave her a huge bear hug. She laughed and gave him a kiss on his cheek. Roxas look up and saw Axel staring at him.

"Hey!" Roxas said to him.

"Hi."

"Come on, let's walk!." Roxas said. He felt the energy building up inside of him. His happiness made him feel like he could fly.

"So..." Axel said after they had walked a little away from there group of friends. "You and Namine? Hmm?"

Roxas stopped and looked at him. "What? Why would you say that? You know I wouldn't do that! GOD sometimes your just a pompous ass."

"Than break up with me." Axel repiled tartly.

"That's not what I mean!" Roxas cried desperately.

"Whatever, see you in first period." Axel said and he walked away.

He just left, like it was abolutly nothing. He didn't even look back, he used to. He used to be the boyfriend I loved, what happened to him?

* * *

Roxas walked glumly into first period, the thought of Axel not talking to him made his happiness fade. 

"Roxas come on." Roxas looked up at the voice and saw the smiling red-haired boy motion for him to come. Roxas brightened and walked faster to him.

"You okay, You lookked sad." Axel asked.

_I don't know maybe becuase you hurt my feelings?_ Roxas thought. "No everything is fine." He said outloud.

"Good."

Mrs. Gainsborough began the class and sent them off to work alone.

"Let's go work with Demyx and Zexion." Axel offered. Roxas nodded his head and they walked up to the blond and blue haired couple. Axel cleared his throat to get them to stop kissing. Demyx jumped off him.

"Oh good! I thought it was Aerith" Demyx said with a smile. Zexion smiled sheepishly at them.

"It's all good." Axel said with a coy smile.

"Hey you two." Roxas said happily.

"Roxas!" Demyx said "Come sit!" Demyx wildly patted the seat next to him. Roxas sat down and they all began on there worksheet. Roxas and Zexion did most of the work.

"Demyx, your never going guess what Roxie did." Axel said. Roxas froze, he **hated** being called Roxie.

"Hmm?" Demyx asked. Roxas looked up at Axel and saw that Axel was smiling sheepishly. Something was going to go wrong.

"The first time we kissed, HE MISSED." Axel said, bursting out laughing.

"No way." Zexion's quiet voice said. "You serious, Roxas?"

"Yes." Roxas whispered. Tears filled the blond's eyes and his stomach felt like it had plunged out of his body. All three of the boys were laughing now, loudly. Roxas got up and walked to the teachers desk.

"Can I use the bathroom?" He asked.

"Of course."

_Calm down. Calm down. Calm down. Calm down. Calmdowncalmdowndowndwn. _Roxas's brain stopped working all he could hear was calm down in his head. He thought he heard Axel say his name but the ringing reminder in his ears was to loud. Roxas made it to the bathroom when the first sob came. Roxas held his sides as the tears slid down his cheeks.

"Your such a baby." A voice said. Roxas looked up in surprise and saw Mr. Strife.

"Mr. Strife what the heck?" Roxas asked.

Cloud let out a loud laugh. "I'm sorry I was talking to my stomach not you."

"You...serious?" Roxas asked.

"Yeah." Cloud said with a smile. "But more importantly, why are you crying?"

"Long story." Roxas said with a laugh. "Something to do with things I wish had happened."

"My mother used to tell me a saying." Cloud said as he slid down the walk and sat next to Roxas. "Oh yeah. It was something like 'If wished were fished we could feed the poor."

Roxas looked up at Mr. Strife "That's a good saying. Thanks."

"Anytime. I got to run but Roxas no one is worth crying over." Roxas watched him go, and wished so much that he could have his confidence. Roxas waited a minute and splashed some water onto his face and walked back to class. When he got back he walked back to the three boys and sat down. He finished the rest of the worksheet and he tuned out the trio's chatting. Axel got up and took all of the papers to the bin.

"Hey Roxas, are you okay?" Demyx asked while Axel was gone.

"Yeah, fine and dandy." Roxas said, while tapping his foot at top speed.

"Okay...?" Demux said while his eyes moved to the speed of Roxas's foot. The bell rang and Roxas jumped up, grabbing his backpack.

"Axel" Roxas said sweetly. "Walk me to my next class please?"

"Of course boyfriend." Axel said. I walked to my locker and pretend to open it, preparing myself.

"Why would you tell them that?" Roxas asked.

"What are you talking about?" Axel asked. "OH, why not?"

"Because I didn't want anyone to know!" Roxas said, his voice raising.

"Well get over." Axel snorted.

"NO! I'm sick of you thinking you can do everything!"

"Than break up with." Axel said. Roxas stood there and looked at Axel. _What if I said yes? _Roxas scolded himself.

"That's not what I said Axel!" Roxas said "Just please watch your mouth."

"Whatever."

Roxas heard Mr. Strife's words in his ears _No on is worth crying over._ Roxas reached up and rubbed away the wetness.

* * *

Roxas walked out of second period and was confronted by a crowd of girls.

"OMG! ROXAS." One screamed.

"Is it true?" another said.

"Is what?" Roxas asked.

"You and Axel!" another said.

"What about us two?" Roxas asked.

"You two broke up!" The first one shreiked. Roxas stopped, his blood going cold.

"Who told you that?" He asked.

"Why Axel of course!" One said.

"Yeah" another agreed "He said so in second period!"

"Oh did he know." Roxas said. Roxas whirled around and walked towards PE. His blood was boiling and his fist were clenching and unclenching. He reached the locker rooms and threw open the doors quickly finding the familiar spiky red hair. He stomped up to it and tapped Axel's shoulder.

"How dare you!" Roxas hissed.

Confusion filled Axel's face. "What happened, huffy?"

"You told those girls in your second period that we broke up!"

"Oh yeah." Axel said. "My mistake."

"That's all?" Roxas said, his anger rising. Roxas predicted Axel next line.

"Well why don't you break up with me?" Axel said.

"You know what?" Roxas said. "Why don't YOU break up with me? I'm obviously not important enough for you."

Axel stood there in his PE clothes and stared at the blondie. Roxas felt the color leave his cheeks and his blood turn sickly cold. His stomach twisted violently and his head felt light. Roxas did the only thing he could think of. He ran away.

* * *

He didn't run very far, just to Mr. Strife's office. He sat down on the spinny office chair and buried his head in his hands.

"Roxas?" He heard Mr. Strife say.

"Yes?"

"You want to stay here?"

"Pretty please." Roxas repiled.

"Okay."

Roxas felt the tears sliding down his face and he buried his head deeper.

_You are not who I thought you were._

and then he cried.

* * *

A/n Yay! I didn't think I would be able to write one today but here's the proof:D I feel like I need to apolgize. I'm sorry Axel is such a asshole in my fic! I really love him but I wanted to make him a meanie! SO SORRY:D

Review pretty please:D


	12. Your Court

A/n Hey! Welcome back to the crazy fast chapters! I have run into a problem. Since it is now the weekday and school is in session I have to go to said school. Which means that updates may be slower! I'm going to try to still update every day but Wednesday! I will try as hard as I freakin can. Hand to god. :D

13loves8loves9loves6: Yeah, I'm sorry that he has to be but it fits the story :D. Anyways thanks for reviewing every chapter you deserve a golden star:D

And without further ado...

* * *

Roxas ran. He didn't care where he was going or if he would get in trouble. He just ran. Tears were streaming down his face and his sobs came out choked. Roxas ran until he got to a small corner in between the gym and the science building. Roxas curled up into a ball and let the sobs take over his small body. 

_Why is my boyfriend such a BUTT. What if he's not even my boyfriend anymore? I beat he hates me. WAIT! You should hate him. He's being a loser and should be dumped. Why can't my relationships be like the fuckin movies!_

"Damn it" Roxas whispered aloud.Roxas buried his head into his hands and sat on the cold ground wondering.

_When did life get this bad?_

* * *

**Namine view:D**

Namine walked out of her math class and a smile stretched across her face. Who wouldn't be happy? They had just escaped the clutches of evil Mr. Ansem. Namine waved to a few people as she walked to her locker. She twisted the numbers into the locker while mouthing them. She pulled open her locker, and felt her cellphone vibrate. Namine pulled it out of her pocket and flipped it open.

"Hello?" She asked.

"Namine? It's Roxas. I need your help."

Namine's face twisted in confusion "What's wrong?" Namine asked her voice filled with concern.

"Come to area between the Science buildings and Gym. Don't let anyone see you." Roxas said and he hung up.

"How rude!" Namine said as she looked at her phone. Namine collected her notebooks and headed towards the Science buildings. She watched as the kids her in school settled into the afternoon lunch. Namine paused to soak in the sun for a second. It was a unusually warm day for the middle of December. Namine began to hum to herself as she walked along. She checked behind her as she slipped into the narrow space between the Science buildings and the Gym.

"Roxas?" Namine called out.

"Namine?" She heard him whisper back.

"That's the name."

"Come here." Roxas said. Namine followed the voice and found Roxas. His eyes were read and puffy and he was curled up into a little ball. He looked up at Namine and gave a weak smile.

"Hey." He whispered. Namine dropped to her knees and pulled him into a bear hug.

"It's going to be okay." She whispered.

For the first time in a long time, Roxas believed it.

* * *

**Roxas :D**

Roxas spilled his story to Namine and he started to feel better as she nodded and hugged him.

"Thanks for listening." He said.

"It's what friends are for." Namine said. "Now Mr. you need to march up to Axel and talk to him."

"Nope, he needs to talk to me." Roxas said definitely.

"Roxas, what are the chances that he will come and say he's sorry." Namine asked.

"That's where you come from." Roxas said with a smile. Namine groaned loudly. "Just go tell him that I'm not planning on apologizing."

"YOU NEED TO DO IT!" Namine said. Roxas pouted.

"Pretty please?"

"Fine." Namine said. Namine got up and walked out almost missing the quiet thank you from Roxas. She smiled and continued towards Axel. Roxas stayed behind and sat there. He could go to the next two classes with no problems but what about after school? It was going to be hard to avoid Axel. Roxas sighed and buried his head into his hands. _Damn it, Damn it, DAMN. _Roxas cursed in his head.

"Just show me where the fuck he is!" Roxas heard a voice yell. His head flew up. That was the voice of a angry redhead that Roxas knew very well. Roxas tried to make himself smaller.

"No! I told you what he wanted me to tell you and that's ALL. If he wanted you to know where he was than he would have come to talk to you. But he didn't." Namine spat at him. "Maybe if you weren't such a asshole to him than none of this would have happened!." _Score one for Namine _Roxas thought.

"Don't you say that to me Blondie." Axel hissed. "I'm a good boyfriend and you can even ask Roxas.If I was such a bad boyfriend than he would have broken up with me Right?" _Point for Axel_ Roxas thought.

"Maybe," Namine said in a low voice. " His idiot boyfriend should get a clue and see that he's breaking his OWN boyfriends heart." _One million points awarded to Namine. What will the angry redhead's response be? _Roxas thought. Their was no response to Namine's sentence, Axel had figured that Roxas was in the small area and he marched down it. Roxas held his breath and his heart beat to loud.

"Roxas?" Axel called. There was no response to him, Roxas hoped that he would be thrown off. Roxas heard the steps getting closer and terror rose in his throat. Then the red haired boy found him. _damn._

"Oh Roxas." Axel said.

_Oh god._ Roxas thought. He just stared at the redhead like a deer in headlights.

"Let's talk." Roxas heard himself whisper.

* * *

The blond boy and the redhead sat next to each other in the small area between the Science buildings and the Gym. Each was holding their breaths waiting for the other to speak. The redhead broke it. 

"Do you think I'm a bad boyfriend." Axel asked.

"How am I suppose to answer that?" Roxas asked. He felt himself yearning for the other boy's touch. Roxas controlled his hands and sat with them in his lap.

Axel laughed. " I don't know."

"Did you know that you haven't kissed me in three days?" Roxas asked.

Axel stared at him for a second. "No. I didn't."

"If we break up will you still be my friend?" Axel asked.

"No I don't think so." Roxas answered.

"Oh. Do you think we should break up?" Axel asked.

"I don't know." Roxas whispered. "What do you think?"

"The ball's in your court." Axel said as he got up. "You decided."

Roxas went numb at that moment. When he looked back later he never knew if it was to keep the pain at bay or if it was because he was preparing himself for what was sure to come. Roxas stared at Axel for a minute. Axel always remembered this moment, even later in his life. He remembered the dead look in Roxas's eyes. Like his own words had just killed a part of the peppy blond. Truthfully they had. After this moment Roxas would never be the same person again. Roxas pulled his eyes away from Axel and he put his head down and walked away.

The numbness stayed. He didn't feel the need to go home and cry that night he just stared at the ceiling and the same thoughts repeated in his head,

**_The ball's in your court now._**

The words that would haunt him.

* * *

A/n YAY! Another chapter and in record time too. :D Anyways hope you enjoy and have a excellent day! 

See ya tomorrow:D

Review pretty please my lovelies.


	13. Playtoy

A/n Hello:D How is everybody doing? This chapter everyday thing everyday is working out pretty well. I can't wait for this thing to be over with. That's pretty sad D:

13loves8loves9loves6: That's what I was aiming for:D Hope you like the chapter!

Hope you enjoy:D

* * *

Roxas walked to school the next morning in his numbness. Sora happily chatted next to him. Roxas didn't even try to nod, he was deep inside himself. His thoughts moved faster than possible. They made his head ache and his eyes water. Roxas's stomach ached and his feet felt like dead weights. Sora wasn't noticing and it was pissing Roxas off. 

_Would anyone notice?_

They entered the school gates and Sora stopped suddenly.

"Roxas, you okay?" Sora asked. Roxas looked at him and his thoughts sped in his head.

"Yeah, fine." Roxas said weakly and just like that Sora fell under Roxas's spell. He didn't question him again. Roxas sighed and they continued walking. Namine caught Roxas's eye and she made a motion with her hand for him to come over. Roxas separated with Sora not bothering to say goodbye and walked over to her.

"Hey." He said weakly. Roxas wondered why his voice was so weak.

"Hey" Namine whispered. "How are you?"

"Fine." Roxas lied.

"Don't give me that crap." Namine said hotly. Roxas smiled.

"Yeah." He said awkwardly. "I'm not doing so well." He finished with a laugh.

Namine winced "Oh, Roxas. I'm so sorry. You want to talk about it?"

"No, not really." Roxas lied. _Please please let's talk about it._

"At your wish." Namine is softly. "Some other time?" Roxas nodded his head.

"Please hang out with me at lunch." Roxas said.

"That I can promise" Namine said with a laugh.

* * *

The classes Roxas had with him were awkward. Axel talked to him in first and said that they should talk at lunch. They didn't talk in any of the other periods. Roxas shuffled through the day, when he was given work he stared at it. Yuffie called on him in third period and he simply just didn't answer. Roxas told Mr. Strife that he had a stomachache so he could get out of PE. Mr. Strife gave him a concerned look and walked away. The bell rang after fourth period and Roxas jetted. He had no intention to talk to Axel. Roxas walked to Namine's class and the two went to hide in the gym. 

"Thanks for doing this with me Namine." Roxas said.

"No problemo." Namine said with a smile.

"Do you think he will find me?" Roxas said.

"If he does than I will hurt him I swear." Namine said with a karate kick. They both cracked up. They both sat in the gym and watched the basketball game that was going on. Roxas leaned back and enjoyed the moment of relaxation. Like a lot of relaxing things in Roxas's life it didn't last long. Axel came into the gym fifteen minutes before the bell rang. Namine squeaked and Roxas got the message. So like any manly man he was, he hide. Axel came stomping up to Namine.

"Where's Roxas?" He said with a growl.

"How would I know?" Namine answered sweetly.

"Sora told me he saw you two together." Roxas retorted.

"Maybe you should be a kinder person to your play toy." Namine spat.

"Play toy?" Axel growled.

"Yeah, PLAY TOY." Namine said. "What you mean that's not what you think of him?"

"He's my boyfriend!" Axel said. "That's what I think of him!"

"Really?"Namine hissed "Because I think the way you treat him is not very loving."

"You know what?" Axel said. "You tell Roxas that when he decided to talk to me, not to bring his pittbull Blondie friend along."

"I'll pass the knowledge on to him, since ya know he wants to talk to me." Namine said angrily. Axel turned and walked away from Namine swearing under his breath. Roxas came out of hiding when he left.

"Pittbull Bondie friend? What a bastard." Roxas hissed.

"Don't" Namine said. "You two could still stay together." Roxas buried his head in hands.

"God damn it!" He said. "Why do I always have all these stupid things happening to me."

"Things will get better." Namine said.

"I sure hope so." Roxas said.

* * *

Roxas came home that night and sat down on his bed. He took off his shoes and got under the blankets of his bed. Roxas buried his head into his pillow and let the tears fall. His thoughts slowed down and Roxas felt normal for the first time that day. He felt his armor fall and his heart ached with pain. All the words said today and how they would effect his life. 

_Will Axel leave me? If he does what will happen to me?_

Oh god.

* * *

The next day Roxas returned to his state and he trudged to school. He had never wished so much that he could stay home. The minute Roxas walked onto the school ground he felt that something was wrong. Axel walked up to him . 

"If you don't want to talk to me than say it to my face." He growled.

"I'm sorry." Roxas whispered. His eyes watered and he looked down at his shoe.

"No your obviously not!" Axel shouted.

"You know what?" Roxas said. "You want to talk? Let's fuckin talk."

Axel took a step back, "No reason to get angry Roxas."

"Look who's talking mister!" Roxas spat. "How DARE you fuckin call Namine that-"

Axel interrupted "Why the fuck would you not talk to me?"

"Because I'm scared of you." Roxas shouted. His face immediately becoming pale. He muttered something about leaving and he ran.

_What mess have I gotten myself into now? _Roxas wondered.

* * *

They talked at the end of the day.

"I think that breaking up would be the best option." Axel said.

"I think there are other ways to solve this." Roxas said.

"No Roxas." Axel said.

"You don't even thinking trying to fix this is worth it?" Roxas asked

"Me and you both know that neither of us have been happy in the last week."

"You don't know that." Roxas spat.

"Roxas fixing this relationship would take forever." Axel said.

"But we still could fix it!" Roxas said.

"The balls in your court remember?" Axel said.

"Oh stop saying that nonsense" Roxas snorted. "If you want to break up say it now." Axel opened his mouth and shut it.

"Yeah that's what I thought" Roxas said. "I have to leave but you can think about saving our relationship okay?" Roxas walked away and felt the toughness that he had somehow came up with melt away. He was plain Roxas now with a broken heart. The tears fell as he walked home alone.

_Why does this stuff always happen to me?_

_

* * *

_A/n A short chapter I'm so sorry! I'm stretching out the break up too. :D I'm very evil! Anyways there will be no update tomorrow! expect one on Thursday though:D

Hope you liked it!

Review pretty please :D


	14. Hole

A/n OMGosh. I have the WORST headache ever on the face of the planet. It's trying to ruin me. I feel a little better but my head is like pulsing. D: But I figured I must get the chapter out! I'm finishing this! ;D

**13loves8loves9loves6: **Roxas is a cutie 3:D Thanks so much for reviewing.

**Problem: **In the last chapter I said something that made no sense. "Sora told me he saw you two together" Retorted Roxas. Umm...Roxas was hidden. It's suppose to be Axel.Yeah, I suck. Get over it :D

And here's the chapter. :D

* * *

Roxas felt the sweat forming in his clenched fist. His stomach was clenching tightly and his heart was beating savagely. Roxas and Sora entered the school grounds. Sora wasn't talking either, they bother had grim expressions.

"See ya later." Roxas said as they separated.

"Yeah." Sora said. Roxas walked to Namine and they sat side by side on the steps. Roxas could feel in his bones that today would be the day. The day that his three month long relationship with Axel would die.

"I'm sorry." Namine whispered.

"Don't be." Roxas said.

"It's going to hurt." Namine said.

"Yeah." Roxas whispered. Roxas watched as Axel went up to the group of "heartless." Who's side would they take in this losing war?

"Will you be on my side?" He asked.

"Of course." She ensured

Roxas knew that she would be the lone solider to fight for Roxas's heart. Namine up at the sun, her hair glowed brightly.

"Thanks." Roxas whispered.

* * *

Roxas and Axel caught up to one another after school. Roxas was lost in thought and Axel had to wave his hand in front of his face. 

"Hello? Roxas?" Axel asked. Roxas's head snapped up, hitting Axel's head.

"Ouch!" Roxas said. "I'm so sorry!"

"Whatever." Axel snorted.

"You need something?" Roxas asked angrily

"We need to talk." Axel said.

"Yeah." Roxas said quietly.

"So I was thinking about what you said, and your right."Axel said. "The balls in my court."

"And what are you going to do?" Roxas said.

Axel sighed. "I want to break up, but I don't want you to be hurt."

"It's hard not to hurt someone when your breaking up with them." Roxas retorted

Axel smiled. "True."

"I think we should work and fix this relationship!" Roxas said.

"Honestly do you think we could fix this?" Axel said, putting his hand up to silence Roxas. "Roxas, neither of us have been happy and the things some people have put you through are cruel-

"Don't act like you care." Roxas interrupted. "Who's going to be the next boyfriend or girlfriend?"

"I'm not like that Roxas!" Axel hissed.

"Really, I beg to differ." Roxas said.

"Then break up with me!" Axel replied.

Roxas threw his hands up in the air. "NO!, okay. Stop saying that! If you want it so bad than do it!"

"Roxas we need to calm down." Axel said.

Roxas ruffled his blond spikes. "I'm sorry, your right."

"Here's what I was thinking." Axel said. "We need to break up Roxas, it's inevitable. But I just don't want to see you hurt. That'll suck. So can we promise to be friends?"

"Yeah." Roxas whispered.

"Roxas, I'm officially breaking up with you." Axel whispered. "But I'm not done with you." Axel leaned down and placed a kiss on Roxas's unsuspecting lips. Axel pulled away and gave Roxas's hand a squeeze. Then he turned away and walked out of Roxas's life.

_How long should I wait?_

* * *

It didn't hit Roxas until he got home. He crumpled up on his bed and felt the loneliness. His eyes began to leak and his chest tightened. Roxas let the sobs take over his body as he felt the pain of the breakup hit him. 

_I'm alone now, alone in this big empty world. Alone, alone, alone. Oh god. What am I going to do tomorrow and the day after that? Where will I get my warmth and laughter? Why did I not realize how much I put on Axel? Who will be my friend? Will I only have Namine? God, I sound like such a fuckin ex-girlfriend._

Roxas clutched his sides and fell into a deep restless slumber.

* * *

"Roxas?" Sora whispered. Roxas blinked his eyes open and registered where he was. Another moment and he remembered the events of the last day, his stomach twisting painfully.

"Yeah?" He answered. Roxas's voice was cracked and his throat dry.

"Come here." Sora whispered. Roxas grumpily got up and followed Sora to his room. Sora sat down on his desk car and clicked a couple times on his computer.

"Look what just popped up on youtube." Sora whispered. Sora pressed the play button and Roxas watched the video unfold.

It began like any video. The two boys in it smiled at the camera and introduced themselves.

"Hi! I'm Riku."

"Hi! I'm Sora."

Riku turned to Sora and kissed him on the lips. The kiss quickly deepened and tongues came out.

"Riku! Stop the video!" Sora giggled.

"Yeah." Riku said. He came up to the camera and pretended to press the power button. "Happy?" Sora nodded his head and the two teenagers began kissing.

Things got dirty fast. The kiss went from light to deep tongue. Riku pulled Sora's shirt over his head and Sora's stomach shone brightly on the computer LCD screen. The making out continued as Riku pulled his shirt over his own head. After seconds Riku pants were on the floor, Sora's quickly follow. A awkward moment passed while the two boys took of their socks. The making out quickly began again. Riku began to take off Sora's underwear.

"Can you believe?" Sora said. He stopped the video. "He taped the entire thing." Roxas stood in disbelief.

"What are you going to do?" Roxas said weakly.

"I don't know."

"Dump him." Roxas said. The word dump rip at the form of the Hole.

"Yeah." Sora said.

Roxas left his brother. He curled up in his bed and felt the Hole beginning to form a place in his life.

_Where'd all the good people go?_

* * *

A/n D: 

That's all.

This chapter was super hard to write.

**Review pretty please.**


	15. Inbetween The Hours

A/n Hello! Remember my worst headache ever? Well it's developed into a full body cold. Don't expect updates for a little while. I want it to run through and then continue. Thanks so much :D

**Tip**: The next chapter is going to be the day after the one where him and Namine sit in the sun, so this chapter is going to be about what happened to the other people in this story over the one and a half month gap. The Christmas scene and Roxas crying in the first chapter have already happened.

Enjoy:D

* * *

**Axel:**

Over the last month Axel had changed. The day after he dumped me, I ignored him trying to get over these sad feelings I was having. Axel took it as a sign that I didn't want to be friends. We've talked a high amount of three times. Each time has been printed in my memory for it's awkwardness and the pain it left. The week after we broke up I cried sometimes when things got really bad. One time Axel saw me crying, he scoffed and ran off. A lot of people still thought we were together. They would walk up to me and ask. It hurt the most. I was sitting at my desk in Spanish one day working on my homework when I heard the whispering. Axel was telling the people that he was with about how much I had sucked as a boyfriend. I prepared to whirl around and yell at them when Axel snorted and said _The best part is he's such a wimp he won't do anything about it._

Exactly a month and a day after Axel and I broke up him and Marluxia got together. Namine walked up to me that morning and hugged me letting the tears fall. I waited a long time for Axel to come back like he said he would. That day I knew that he wasn't coming back. Axel had moved on while I stood still. I see the two boys holding hands and kissing when I go from class to class and at lunch. Each time I see them the Hole rips. I know that I could have been Marluxia. I could have been that happy boy. To bad I'm not good enough. Axel has become violent since we broke up. He stands up in class and simply walks out or some days he drives his poor teachers to tears.

Axel is definitely the biggest reason for the Hole. Every time I see him it rips at my insides. Every time he smiles it rips bigger. Every time him and Marluxia kiss it opens. I sometimes clutch my sides for support fearing the Hole will tear open my body and leave me in tiny pieces. I wouldn't be surprised if one of these days my head just explodes with all the thoughts I'm having now. I wouldn't be surprised if Axel's head explodes with how much he thinks of himself now.

* * *

**Sora:**

After the unfortunate youtube accident Sora marched into school and yelled at Riku. They fought and Riku tried to win him back but Sora cleverly refused. Riku begged for his love but Sora, being the smart boy he is, denied it and moved on with his life. Or so I wish. What actually happened was this; Sora came to school and confronted Riku. Riku smiled his slippery smile and feed Sora words like _It wasn't me,_ _My friend put it on there _and _I would never do anything to hurt you._ Sora was placed under Riku's magic spell again and he continued dating the silver haired boy. I tried to reason with him a thousand times but he was determined like the last three times that Riku was going to change. He didn't though. Riku being the snake he is corrupted everything him and Sora had. Right before we went on the Christmas tree hunt he posted another video of the two having sex. Sora never saw the video, but the world sure did.

After the Christmas tree hunt, I woke up in a hospital and the first words out of Sora's mouth was _You're so gullible, Roxas._ If my throat hadn't been so dry I would have screamed_ No you are! _I refused to talk to him after that. Sora had no complaints about not talking. Him and Riku have grown closer and that two are now secretly engaged. He thinks I don't know, but the huge rock on his finger tells the tale. I feel bad for my brother a lot, knowing that he is willing to spend his life with a guy that isn't worth a single second of his time. I'm not planning on talking to him until the two break-up. Even if it's to the end of my life.

The Hole rips whenever I see Sora. Him and Riku are always all over each other. They barely stop having tongue wars enough to learn at school. I could have done so much more to prevent this from happening but I can't now. Now I'm just the loser brother, that not even his own brother likes. Sora's happy face rips a bigger chunk at the Hole every time it looks my way.

* * *

**Namine:**

Namine has given a lot up for me. I will never be more grateful for anything in my life. She has stuck with me since day one. A lot of people think that we are dating but I know we never could. She is my sister not my love. Namine sits quietly with me while I rebuild the Hole before school and at lunch. Her grades have improved greatly since we started to hang out. I spend my time thinking and failing school, while she gets smarter. She always has something nice to say to me. Her happiness reminds me old Roxas, a thought that is constantly in my head. He would be happy right now. Not this sad crap that I am.

About 3 days after Marluxia and Axel got together Namine had a screaming battle without Axel. They screamed at each other about how each was a miserable piece of life. I have never seen Namine so mad in my life. Axel won the argument but Namine wouldn't stand for that. She took a step forward and backhanded him. Axel stood shocked for a second, just enough time for Namine to whisper her haunting words, _You were never good enough._ She spit on his shoes and left. She never thought that I saw the fight but I did. It was one of the few times I've smiled in the last month and a half. Namine has come to school rain, shine, sick or healthy for me. I could not ask for a better more equip person to be my best friend.

* * *

**Riku:**

There's not much to say about the bastard. He has cheat on his Sora a exact time of three. He tells me the number everyday in PE. He doesn't care that he's engaged. The guys a douche. Riku has sunk his teeth into my poor brother's flesh and refuses to give it up. I found him one time making out with Marluxia (before Marluxia and Axel got together), he saw me staring at him and just snickered. I have tried many times to fight Riku and mess up his pretty face but each time he just laughs and continues on with his perfect life. It's the old Sora that I miss the most. Riku has sucked out the happy Sora and replace him with a much less exciting Sora.The new Sora likes sports and reads long books on Ansem. Riku has turned him into the perfect dream. I truly don't think that Sora would see that Riku is cheating on him unless he does it in front of him and that's what scares me the most. If the two are secretly engaged what's going to happen when they get married?

I don't even want to think about it.

* * *

**Me:**

I don't like to talk anymore and my bubbliness has died. My hair color has gone from sunny blond to a dirty blond. I always have bags under my eyes and sleep is hard to come by. My teachers tell me that I have become a shell. I disagree of of course, I still let Namine in. I'm failing all my classes, I have a lot of other things on my mind. A month after this all happened my parents took me to a therapist hoping I would open up to him. I spoke no words during the six, two hour long session. He told my parents that I had the classic signs of depression and needed to take pills. They bought the expensive pills and I haven't taken one. I'm not depressed, I'm just dealing with life. Namine has never left my side. Always there and waiting in case I need anything. She has been the most helpfully to my slight recovery. That day that he sat on the bench in the sun filled with me with so much hope. Hope that I wish I didn't have to lose.

Hope that I have lost.

* * *

A/n EWWWWWWW! Axel and Marluxia sound gross:D Hope you liked :D. I'll update in a couple days. Love ya all:D

**Review pretty please with a strawberry covered in sugar on top :)**


	16. Honest Liar

A/n **This was the chapter that was not meant to be, It got deleted 3 times! So be happy :D **Thank god for cases of the flu that are small. Hey:D Well, I really don't know what to write anymore. But if I was you I would suspect that the end if highly near. I'm shooting for 20 chapters but I don't know if I have enough ideas to fill five chapters D: Maybe this chapter and a epilogue?

Okay here we go :D

* * *

Sometimes I want to run up to random people on the street and ask them howthey are? To turge themto tell me the truth not the fake answers theyfeed everyone else. I want to be able to heartheir anger, sadness and fears. I could use a tissue to mop up there broken promises and fast tears. I want the world to be happy and joyful. But most of all I want one of them to come and ask me. So I can spill my guts and tell them the tragic story of my life.

So I could tell them the story of the twenty four hours that mattered most.

The twenty four hours that I never got.

* * *

**10am**

Roxaswoke up to a house of emptiness. Everyone in my "family" has left. Dadleft on abusiness trip, Momwent out withthe girls and Sora, he couldonly assume, is at Riku'sHe lay in my bed for a few precious moments and soaked up the sun. The radio sang quietly on the other side of the room.Roxas felt the heat of the sun against my cheeks.He closedhis eyes and thought of the perfection of this moment. These were the moments thathe wanted to remember, the moment of pure peace. 

The blond pull myself out of the warm covers and pulled on a plain black sweatshirt. My feet clunked loudly down the stairs and into the kitchen.Roxas pulled up to the radio and put on the Beatles.Hegrabbed the ingredients for pancakes out of the kitchen cabinets. Roxas hummed along to the catchy tune. He whisk together all the ingredients and began to pour it into the sizzling pan. He put some bacon on a plate and tossed it in the microwave. He popped in toast and increased his speed around the kitchen. The first pancakes burnt, he soon mastered the technique and flipped golden ones. The toast popped and bacon rang at the same time. Roxas assembled his breakfast on a plate and began to eat. Looking out the window he wondered what it would be like to look in on the scene.

He could imagine the looks on the people's faces

_Oh poor boy! He doesn't have anyone to eat with. Someone should go and talk to him._

_What a lonely, lonely boy._

_I hope he's fine._

Roxas shook his head at his daydream. _What a pitiful daydream._ Roxas enjoyed the rest of his breakfast in the sunny sky.

* * *

**11 am **

Roxas pulled on a sweatshirt as he opened the door to his house. He paused for a second, thinking about locking the door or not. Roxas shut it and began to walk down the street. The cold winter air kissed his cheeks turning them red. Roxas sighed and his breath came out in a white puff. The houses passed by as Roxas walked. He was trying hard to keep his mind blank. Roxas stopped at the children's playground on the end of the block, he walked up to the swing set and sat down. Roxas smiled, thinking of how much of his childhood was spent here.

_Sora pumped his legs and his swing flew into the air. He was much higher than all of the older kids. Roxas was playing with chalk on the sidewalk, he looked up at his brother. Sora's brown spiky hair was trailing after him and his laughter filled the air. Roxas scrambled to his feet and ran to the swing beside Sora. Sora slowed down his swing and Roxas pumped his legs to get himself started. The two flew through the air together and their laughter rang. _

Roxas got up from the swing and shook his head. The same question repeating in his head,_ When will Sora be that brother again?_

_Never_ a small voice answered.

* * *

**12 pm**

Roxas walked into the automatic doors of the library.He felt the warmth rush to his chilly fingers and toes. Roxas turned and smiled at the librarian. He walked towards the teen section and began to search the rows. He pulled a magenta book out of the shelf and paged through it. He placed it back in the shelf and turned away. Roxas walked to the nearest bathroom and stepped inside. He froze, the ghosts of this place were a nightmare.

_"Come on Roxas" Axel whined. He was pulling Roxas into the bathroom. "You made me come to the place, now it's my turn to do what I want." Roxas sighed and stopped struggling. Axel pulled the blond close to his chest and hugged him for a blissful second. "What if someone finds us?" Roxas whispered. "Then they can enjoy the show." Axel replied. Roxas laughed and Axel took a hold of his head placing his lips on them. The kiss was quickly deepened and Axel pushed him up against the wall, his hand searching for a way under Roxas's t-shirt. Roxas arched his back trying to get closer to the redhead. Axel found his way under the blond shirt and explored his hot skin. Axel released the lip lock and sucked on Roxas's neck, a moan escaped the blond's lips. Axel smirked against his neck and his hands pressed against his abdomens. The two began their desperate lip lock when a voice outside the door screeched "Mommy, I found the bathroom!" The two quickly pulled apart and broke into laughter as the mother walked in. She gave them both weird looks and ushered his son into the stall. The two teenagers regained there composure and stood up, holding hands and walked out of the tiny bathroom._

Roxas gasped for breath as he realized that he was holding it. He spun and tumbled out of the room, he walked quickly out of the library vowing not to go back for awhile.

_If only I was strong._

* * *

**1 pm**

Roxas decided to walk to the store and get food for lunch. He crossed the intersection to go to the supermarket and heard a car honk. He looked over and saw Riku waving at him. Roxas sneered and walked away. He could feel the evil stare from Sora, he could care less. He saw Riku pull into the parking lot and jump out of his car, Sora closely following._Oh shit._ Roxas thought.

"Roxie!" Riku yelled. Roxas flinched, he hated that nickname.

"Riku." He said lamely.

"How you doing buddy?" Riku said enthusiastically

"Good until you showed up." Roxas said with a smile. Roxas stole a glance at his brother only to be met with a cold shoulder.

"What are you doing here?" Riku asked.

"I'm here to buy lunch!" Roxas said.

Riku evil smile played at the end of his lips. "We're here to buy more condoms!" 

Roxas's smile, fake one, dropped fast. "Your a asshole." He hissed.

"Language, young Roxas!" Riku smirked.

"Whatever." Roxas said "Look like we're going to have to separate here, what a bummer!" Roxas turned into the other direction and didn't bother to listen to Riku's answer. He grabbed his lunch materials quickly and went to the cashier. He bought his stuff and walked quickly to the door. Riku came out of now where and flung a arm around Roxas. 

"Guess what?" Riku said "We got the blueberry kind" Roxas whirled around and formed a fist with his hand. He sighed and released it.

"Your not worth it." Roxas said.

"Oh come on Roxas." Riku laughed. "This is what I have been waiting for." Roxas laughed and took a step closer to him. He stuck out his pointer finger and thumb and tucked all of his other fingers away, he put his gin shaped hand up to Riku's head. 

"Bang, your dead." He whispered. Roxas turned and walked away.

* * *

**2 pm**

Roxas was preparing his lunch with the supplies that he had bought at the supermarket. He hummed as he spread the mayonnaise across the bread. He put the piece of bread on top of his masterpiece and smiled. The sandwich looked excellent, Roxas turned to his cupboard and pulled out a cup. He walked over to the fridge and poured himself a glass of lemonade. He picked up the sandwich plate and balanced the plate on his forearm.He walked over to the sliding glass door and walked outside. He sat on a small chair under a umbrella. Roxas slowly ate his sandwich and basked in the wind free afternoon.

_This is the way life should be._ He thought_ Never a moment of sadness, only happiness._

_Too bad really life's never like this. _

* * *

**3 pm**

3 pm, on a cold winter day not long ago Axel had walked out of his life. This was the hardest time for him. When all the pain that he concealed came out. This is when the rash decision were made. This is when he sunk into deep depression. 

This is when he began to write his letter.

* * *

A/n Dying to find out what the letter is? Your going to have to wait:D Anyways, don't expect updates everyday. But I will try as hard as I can for this fic to be done with:D

**Review pretty please! With Roxas on top ;D**


	17. The Letter

A/n Hey:D Welcome back to the story. It's coming to finale and it'll be tragic. This chapter esecpially :D Anyways this is only a short filer chapter so don't be mad at the minimul volume of it :D

Let's go!

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_To Whom It May Concern-_

_I was never one of those kids that was aching to end it, planned it and executed it. I just did it to escape I guess. There are a zillion ways I could hve handled my current situation but I decided to take the shortcut. I remember all the hokey wrist bands and t-shirts people wear saying to stop this act. I never payed much attention never thinking that my life would come to this. But it did. Karma's a bitch, right?_

_But as any dramatic comedy (that's what my life must be) goes now is when I reveiw and tell all those people that screwed up my life how much I miss them. And that is exactly what I am going to do._

_Namine: Thank you so much. For a billion things, I can't even began to write all of the wonderful things you helped me with. Most of all being by my side, that I will never forget. You are such a beautiful girl, so don't waste your time on me. Think of the future and of your life's career. I was always getting in the way ya'know? I think you once told me that you were dying to be a artist even thought your parents said they would abandon you. Trust me, take the leap. There is nothing better in the world than following your dreams. NOTHING. :) Oh and please with a capital P get married and have cute little Namine look a likes. That would be the coolest thing. Again, Thank you for being by side. I am in your eternal gratitude._

_Sora: My brother. I love you, and I don't think that I expressed it nearly enough to you in the last months. We may have our petty differences but all in all we had so many good times. The years of you and I playing by the creek, those were the best. There is no denyingthat.But times have changed and now were barely speaking and your judment has been clouded byfake love. I know in these letters your not suppose to say mean things but Riku should have nothing nice said about him. Please as my finally wish get rid of Riku. I beileve that you can do it. I beileve that you can change the world._

_Axel: I have just a few words for you but trust me there sincere. I wish I could say that this letter's meaning was not because of you but it was. Now don't blame yourself (and if you don't than skip the nice couple lines.) my decision was what it purely was, my decision. Don't feel sorrow, anger or confusion. Move on please, your feelings are not worth the struggle._

_This is the end of this letter I guess. Isn't it funny that after you read this letter you get to cry and I get to (hint: It rhymes with cry) Nah, sorry about the jokes. Thanks for the times guys, they were the best._

_Yours,_

_Roxas :)_

A/n Yeah, I'm crying. D:

**Review please. **


	18. The End

A/n Welcome back! ;D

13loves8loves9loves6: Hahaha, I know :D

Lyra Su: Thanks so much for reading! Glad it's to your liking :)

WolfAlchemist2000: I Know! If I was Axel I would melt at the sight of the two. :D

Superemily: two words, I'm sorry.

spiritbird: I'm sorry your sad! :D This chapter will not help at all!

And here we go! :D

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Everyone knows the rest of this story. The story of the brunette that walked into the bloody scene. How he screamed at the reminds of the blond. About the neighbors that came running to the screaming and shielded there children's eyes to the bloody mess. The young man that picked up his cell phone and called the emergency services. They heard the siren coming racing to their small neighborhood and the team that ran out. The man that took hold of the shocked brunette and the women that whispered the worst words.

"Time of death 8:30 pm"

About the poor brunet who wept loudly as the paramedic held him and blamed himself repeatedly. The newspaper and media arrived long before the parents even got word. They bombarded the teenager with question on the death.

"Why would he do this?" A brunette lady screamed.

A man with a bad haircut yelled "Did you have something to do with it?"

"What will happen to your family?" A man with a beaklike nose screeched.

Sora looked up at them and felt the tears coming down his face. He looked out at the crowd of waving microphones and let a sob come out.

"I just want to go home." He whispered. The reporters looked at him puzzled and most of the microphones feel.

"Kid, you are home." A women with blond hair questioned.

"If only." The teenager said. "If only" The boy broke down in sobs and he left to go in the house.

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The parents received the news 30 minutes later. The father was far off in New York for a business meeting. The mother having a day at the spa and was disturbed during her massage. Each parents acted the same, they stopped and sat down. The mother broke down in tears and her friends crowded quickly around her tried to provide comfort. The father buried his head in his hands and whispered "It's not fair." The father's assistant canceled his meeting and gave him a late flight home.. The mother was driven home by her friends. She arrived at the scene in a flash of photography. The reports yelled at her questions. She only shook her head and went into the house.

The father returned four hours later and meet the rest of his family in the local police station. The police questioned the family about the reasons the young boy would want to kill himself.

"I have no idea!" The mother sobbed.

The father had stood stony in the back of the room, he turned and said. "He lived such a good life."

Sora stood up and walked out of the police station. His parents calling after him to return. Sora went outside and kneeled down crying. He reached for his cell phone and dialed Namine's number.

"Hello?" The peppy blond answered.

"Namine? Oh thank god.." Sora sputtered out.

"Sora, what's wrong?" Namine asked concerned.

"It's Roxas." Sora whispered. "He killed himself."

"Oh god." Namine whispered. After a long moment of silence she said "Where are you?"

"The police station."

"I'll be there." She said. Sora hung up the phone and dialed the next number, Riku's.

"Riku?" He asked.

"Sora! Guess what? I just won the football game." Riku said. "Where's going to-

"RIKU." Sora interrupted. "Roxas's is dead."

"What?" Riku asked.

"He killed himself." Sora whispered.

That's when Riku hung up the phone. Sora cursed and stared at the phone for a mintue. He tossed it in his hand so it twirled and he chucked it across the parking lot.

"Fuck you!" Sora yelled after it. The tears returned to the teenagers face and he felt them sliding down in his. He buried his head in his hands and let the sob take over him. He heard the police door open.

"Sora?" His mother called. Sora didn't answer but she saw the cry heap and walked over to it, her red high heels clicking on the cement.

"They found this……..letter that he wrote." His mother said pausing to let the tears roll down. Sora looked up at her.

"What does it say?" He asked.

"You have to come inside." His mother said. Sora got up with his mother and the two walked back into the police station. They entered the break room of the building and a solemn looking police officer and Sora's father was waiting. The father greeted them with a nod.

The cop cleared his throat and began to speak "A cop at the scene found a letter, we think you should read it." The letter was passed to the family members, and each read in silence. Sora read it last and passed it back to the police officer.

"Can we go home?" Sora whispered.

"Yes." The police officer said. The family got up and left the room and they walked out into the busy cop room. Namine sat in a chair in the corner of the room. She came up to the Sora and embraced him.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered. She pulled apart from him and she held his hand as the two walked out. The family drove home slowly and in silence. When they reached the house they separated to there bedrooms. Namine came with Sora to his and she laid him down. She storked her hand through his hair and began to sing,

_Hush little baby don't say a word,_

_Daddy's going to buy you a mocking bird,_

_And if that mocking bird don't sing,_

_Daddy's going to buy you a diamond ring,_

_And if hat diamond ring don't shine,_

_Daddy's going to buy you….._

And then Sora feel asleep.

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A/n This is the last chapter! I want to leave it somewhere that you can make up the ending however you please! If there is enough want I may write it but I doubt it. Thanks so much to 13loves8loves9loves6 for reading from the beginning and to everyone else who has read this, review or not. Thanks so much! :D Hope you loved it!

Review pretty please! :D


	19. AXEL! :

A/n Heyy! :D here's the Axel chapter just for the fans :D

Hope you love

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Axel hummed along to the punk music filling his small boxy room. He sat on his bed and flipped through a music magazine. He was absorbed and didn't hear the knock at his door. The door was opened by a small chocolate haired boy and the redhead looked up. The other teenager was wearing a dark suit and tie.

"Sora? What are you doing here?" Axel asked. Sora walked over to the stereo and turned down the music shooting Axel and glare.

"I have some horrible news." The teenager said, eyes filling. "Roxas died last night." Axel froze on his bed.

"Sora, that's not something to joke about." He whispered.

"I wish I was." Sora said, his face tightened in grief. "I was on my way to the funeral and I wanted to know if you would like to go?" Axel nodded his head and followed the chocolate haired boy out of the house. They reached Sora's parents car and Axel got in nodded to both of them. The drive was long and quiet to the funeral. Axel didn't dare to speak, his thoughts spinning.

"We're here." Sora's mom said.

The group got out of the car and walked to the group of people in black. Sora held out his hand and Axel took it, the two walked to the front of the group. The preacher began as they took there seats. He talk about death and sadness. Axel sat there listening to the old man go on wondering how many times he had said these word.

"Would anyone like to speak?" The minister asked. Axel got up and went to the microphone.

"I'm Axel." He said "And I was a reason he did this. Everybody right here is. Everybody in that high school and his family. Everybody killed him. And there is nothing in the world that makes me sadder than saying that. And he'll never know. He'll never know if he could get over whatever problems he was having, he'll never know if he will get married or go to college. I'm sad that he killed himself, but I'm pissed that he left us with all this grief. He could have made it! And now we'll never know." The redhead stood on the stand for a second longer letting his eyes fill with tears.

"I loved you Roxas, but I was such a arrogant jerk that I couldn't tell you." The redhead finished and walked away from the stand, just as a silver haired boy stepped up on the stand.

"Hello! I'm Riku." The beauty sputtered, his posture gave away that he was drunk. "And I think it's good the little bastard died." And that's when a redhaired teenage boy pulled him off the stage and punched him in the mouth.

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End file.
